Forget the cushions, Save the coolers....Cluster Fuck Float Trip 2005
Oh wow! Just recovering from my float trip...yeah me and a few buddies went on a float trip down the Niobrara....you know lots of sun, bikini clad strangers, and plenty of beer and drunken hi-jinx.....well we had none of that....well except the beer part.
So the plan was to get a bunch of people together and bring lots of beer and just hang out and relax....well as many of you already know, plans rarely succeed! So here we were from 18 people to just 8 causing my expense to go up, irritating me, but what can you do? Words of advice, people are flaky, and next time get the cash up front! So we were planning on leaving Omaha at 9:00 am on Friday morning, driving the 6 hours to Niobrara, setting up camp, chilling out, getting up on Saturday, floating down the river, passing out and getting up on Sunday and coming home after a weekend of fun, relaxation, and....let's just call it "European Hi-jinx".
Cut to Friday morning, 11:00 a.m., when we are at Bakers getting beer. Then thinking that maybe just maybe we might need the extra room, I convince one of the people that they needed to drive their Explorer, well the plan was for a few of us to ride in the bed of the truck to keep the beer safe, don't worry we had a DVD player to keep us company....oh yeah and there was a topper. (That was for all you out their saying, geez I thought I raised her better....I mean I thought Terri was smarted than that....well it is amazing what slamming five beers before 10:00 in the morning will do to your judgment!) Anywho, so we got on the road, one Explorer-four people and one truck-two people in the cab, two in the truck and 8 cases of beer!
We are on our way to Niobrara, when we stop like two hours into the journey, what the hell?! I mean c'mon if you can't make two hours without stopping then you are like an 90 year old woman that lost all bladder control and didn't have her bag with her. But it was good because the driver of the truck was jealous that he couldn't drink, so he jumped in the back, and we continued on our way. The new plan was to stop an change drivers, that way we all got a chance to drink on the way up and no one was drinking and driving. If we had planned better we would have brought a few 17 year olds with us, that way they could have driven the entire way, and been our beer bitches!
Finally we hit camp site, and let me tell you that I know I bitch about technology a little more than I should, but whoever invented that tent that basically you just throw up into the air and it lands all set up was a genius, yeah I said G-E-N-I-U-S! Because I fell....well rather rolled...out of the truck and took my tent to a shady spot, threw that baby up, and shit I had another beer opened by the time it hit the ground and popped open, fully set-up....meanwhile, the boys are struggling with their mess of poles, extra hooks and fabric! And I do have to make a disclaimer here, because I did not bring a watch and my phone did not have service I did not run on normal time, but rather on what I like to refer to as Busch time, meaning the number of beers before the next event occurred. So for example, I had my tent all set up, and two beers later the other tent was set up and the camp fire was "roaring" (and by roaring I mean that it was fizzling, before they let the lez take over, in a matter of oh about three drinks of a beer I had the fire up and going....yeah sure Phil you loosened....I mean started it for me!) Anywho, one beer later we decided to jump in the river and relax.
About seven beers later and half of a 1.75 of mostly Captain and very little coke, we stumble up the bank back to our campsite, and decide we should get something in our stomach, because tomorrow is gonna be a big day of drinking! Well long story short, we eat, pass-out, sleep very little because while it was 105 here, it was about 10 degrees hotter there! So we wake up and realize that we need ice or our trip down the river with warm beer was gonna suck, well all-in-all we got ice, made it to the launch spot, and started out 5 hour journey down the river...7 and a half hours later, with seven fried people, three passed out "sailors", one less inner-tube, 2 pairs of shoes lost, three minor injuries, one mid-major injury, and about three-quarters of the six cases of beer finished we crawled on the the landing spot.
We headed back to camp exhausted, starving, sore, and just plain crabby we ate a light dinner, and I went to grab about a three beer nap, roughly an hour or so. I woke up and realized that my pillow was soaking wet from sweating, both because of the heat and my sunburn...I caught up with a couple people as they were leaving to go take a cold shower to try and cool down...and as we entered the shower facilities and learned that it would be about an hour to shower, someone said, "I wouldn't be opposed to going home now....(giggle)" I replied with, "my thoughts exactly, let's see what everyone thinks, no seriously let's go ask." Before I knew it, camp was torn down all the trash was picked up and we were on our way back home. I could stand to lose $6 in order to sleep in my own bed, in the air conditioning. So when we got into the car, at about 7:15 p.m. the thermometer read 107, I can only imagine what it was at 4:00 that afternoon when we had been on the river.
So seven hours, three stops later, with the Explorer holding four, the truck holding three (if you will notice we lost someone along the way), everyone happy because we all got to sit in the air conditioned cars, especially the two cases of heat exhaustion, we were back in Omaha. All in all it was a good trip, lots of beer drank, lots of hotties spotted, and lot's of bullshit drama, but now I know who and who I can't take on road trips! So I hope you enjoyed the saga, there are many more details, if you want to hear them, let me know, other wise this entry might have gotten too long! (Damn I am one funny chick!)
So the plan was to get a bunch of people together and bring lots of beer and just hang out and relax....well as many of you already know, plans rarely succeed! So here we were from 18 people to just 8 causing my expense to go up, irritating me, but what can you do? Words of advice, people are flaky, and next time get the cash up front! So we were planning on leaving Omaha at 9:00 am on Friday morning, driving the 6 hours to Niobrara, setting up camp, chilling out, getting up on Saturday, floating down the river, passing out and getting up on Sunday and coming home after a weekend of fun, relaxation, and....let's just call it "European Hi-jinx".
Cut to Friday morning, 11:00 a.m., when we are at Bakers getting beer. Then thinking that maybe just maybe we might need the extra room, I convince one of the people that they needed to drive their Explorer, well the plan was for a few of us to ride in the bed of the truck to keep the beer safe, don't worry we had a DVD player to keep us company....oh yeah and there was a topper. (That was for all you out their saying, geez I thought I raised her better....I mean I thought Terri was smarted than that....well it is amazing what slamming five beers before 10:00 in the morning will do to your judgment!) Anywho, so we got on the road, one Explorer-four people and one truck-two people in the cab, two in the truck and 8 cases of beer!
We are on our way to Niobrara, when we stop like two hours into the journey, what the hell?! I mean c'mon if you can't make two hours without stopping then you are like an 90 year old woman that lost all bladder control and didn't have her bag with her. But it was good because the driver of the truck was jealous that he couldn't drink, so he jumped in the back, and we continued on our way. The new plan was to stop an change drivers, that way we all got a chance to drink on the way up and no one was drinking and driving. If we had planned better we would have brought a few 17 year olds with us, that way they could have driven the entire way, and been our beer bitches!
Finally we hit camp site, and let me tell you that I know I bitch about technology a little more than I should, but whoever invented that tent that basically you just throw up into the air and it lands all set up was a genius, yeah I said G-E-N-I-U-S! Because I fell....well rather rolled...out of the truck and took my tent to a shady spot, threw that baby up, and shit I had another beer opened by the time it hit the ground and popped open, fully set-up....meanwhile, the boys are struggling with their mess of poles, extra hooks and fabric! And I do have to make a disclaimer here, because I did not bring a watch and my phone did not have service I did not run on normal time, but rather on what I like to refer to as Busch time, meaning the number of beers before the next event occurred. So for example, I had my tent all set up, and two beers later the other tent was set up and the camp fire was "roaring" (and by roaring I mean that it was fizzling, before they let the lez take over, in a matter of oh about three drinks of a beer I had the fire up and going....yeah sure Phil you loosened....I mean started it for me!) Anywho, one beer later we decided to jump in the river and relax.
About seven beers later and half of a 1.75 of mostly Captain and very little coke, we stumble up the bank back to our campsite, and decide we should get something in our stomach, because tomorrow is gonna be a big day of drinking! Well long story short, we eat, pass-out, sleep very little because while it was 105 here, it was about 10 degrees hotter there! So we wake up and realize that we need ice or our trip down the river with warm beer was gonna suck, well all-in-all we got ice, made it to the launch spot, and started out 5 hour journey down the river...7 and a half hours later, with seven fried people, three passed out "sailors", one less inner-tube, 2 pairs of shoes lost, three minor injuries, one mid-major injury, and about three-quarters of the six cases of beer finished we crawled on the the landing spot.
We headed back to camp exhausted, starving, sore, and just plain crabby we ate a light dinner, and I went to grab about a three beer nap, roughly an hour or so. I woke up and realized that my pillow was soaking wet from sweating, both because of the heat and my sunburn...I caught up with a couple people as they were leaving to go take a cold shower to try and cool down...and as we entered the shower facilities and learned that it would be about an hour to shower, someone said, "I wouldn't be opposed to going home now....(giggle)" I replied with, "my thoughts exactly, let's see what everyone thinks, no seriously let's go ask." Before I knew it, camp was torn down all the trash was picked up and we were on our way back home. I could stand to lose $6 in order to sleep in my own bed, in the air conditioning. So when we got into the car, at about 7:15 p.m. the thermometer read 107, I can only imagine what it was at 4:00 that afternoon when we had been on the river.
So seven hours, three stops later, with the Explorer holding four, the truck holding three (if you will notice we lost someone along the way), everyone happy because we all got to sit in the air conditioned cars, especially the two cases of heat exhaustion, we were back in Omaha. All in all it was a good trip, lots of beer drank, lots of hotties spotted, and lot's of bullshit drama, but now I know who and who I can't take on road trips! So I hope you enjoyed the saga, there are many more details, if you want to hear them, let me know, other wise this entry might have gotten too long! (Damn I am one funny chick!)
posted by T at 2:05 PM
1 Comments:
I am going to have one of my lawyers call on you. Cause the (giggle) is a trademark of mine and you cannot use unless it is in reference to me and me alone.
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