Reverse racism....sorta
So today, I met up with Dan and his four "siblings" at the house. Dan was to take the kids to SkateWorld, which for any of you morons out there is a total rip-off of SkateLand, it was like when you were little and your parents tried to pawn off on you that crappy Hy-Vee soda....anyway, what's worse than having four kids between the ages of 6 and 8?....Adding a fifth child who was short, annoying and way too uncool to be hanging out with us! Plus not to be a jerk, but she was totally Veruca Salt-like. If you know what I mean you are cool. If you have to look up who Veruca Salt was, and trust me it is not a band, then you suck and should not be allowed to breed!
Yeah, so there we are watching the kids skate, when Dan tells me to watch one of the younger ones, and as he falls trying to get up from his last stumble, we start to laugh and Dan informs me that we cannot let him see us laugh, because he is "sensitive". Hello 'mo! Anywho there we are watching them make their slow but sure passes, some on skates, others on roller blades, when I notice the youngest one on the far side, along the wall taking his time. I also notice a rather large, older girl who should not have been skating with the young kids, I mean c'mon people isn't there a weight limit or something for these skate parties?! So as I sit here I swear to you that this all happened in slow motion, as the youngest turns around and sees his unfortunate but too real death pending over his head as the fat chick skates his way.......backwards. I see the impatientness in his little legs as they start to glide faster and faster, and before anyone could say anything, I nudged Dan to encourage a glance in the direction of the upcoming tragedy.....and *BOOM* she hits him, skating backwards, flies over and lands on his frail 6 year old body
As by the grace of God he starts to push her off with the strength of 10 full-grown men, and yells loud enough for the entire rink to hear....."watch were you are going fatty!" as she picks herself up from the complete embarrassment of being "smoked" by a 6 year old, she makes her way to the other side of the rink where Dan and I are sitting, and we continue to heckle her....,"nice move wide load" "haven't gotten you daily supply of 6 year old boys? Thought you might have to take this one down by hand?", "need a wide load sign for your ass? What? I can see how that thing could get away from you!"
Oh man what a day! Well all of it was true until the last part..........................................................Dan and I were actually sitting by the coke machine!
Yeah, so there we are watching the kids skate, when Dan tells me to watch one of the younger ones, and as he falls trying to get up from his last stumble, we start to laugh and Dan informs me that we cannot let him see us laugh, because he is "sensitive". Hello 'mo! Anywho there we are watching them make their slow but sure passes, some on skates, others on roller blades, when I notice the youngest one on the far side, along the wall taking his time. I also notice a rather large, older girl who should not have been skating with the young kids, I mean c'mon people isn't there a weight limit or something for these skate parties?! So as I sit here I swear to you that this all happened in slow motion, as the youngest turns around and sees his unfortunate but too real death pending over his head as the fat chick skates his way.......backwards. I see the impatientness in his little legs as they start to glide faster and faster, and before anyone could say anything, I nudged Dan to encourage a glance in the direction of the upcoming tragedy.....and *BOOM* she hits him, skating backwards, flies over and lands on his frail 6 year old body
As by the grace of God he starts to push her off with the strength of 10 full-grown men, and yells loud enough for the entire rink to hear....."watch were you are going fatty!" as she picks herself up from the complete embarrassment of being "smoked" by a 6 year old, she makes her way to the other side of the rink where Dan and I are sitting, and we continue to heckle her....,"nice move wide load" "haven't gotten you daily supply of 6 year old boys? Thought you might have to take this one down by hand?", "need a wide load sign for your ass? What? I can see how that thing could get away from you!"
Oh man what a day! Well all of it was true until the last part..........................................................Dan and I were actually sitting by the coke machine!
posted by T at 1:10 AM
4 Comments:
Frank wants to know more about how Dan broke the nose. Seems he is thinking he might need a little practice before he gets to WA....
Love Kiki
T,
Thank God that chick didn't land on ME!!! DAMN!!! What a heffer!!! Wow.. what poor, unemployed people will do for money.... babysit 5 little craps... I'm so glad that's over... But it really did happen in slow mo-..(heh heh) Anyway, tell the story of the breaking of the nose.. (but, ya know REALLY tell the story if you get my drift)
The one, the only, the once again American...
Dan
Gimme your msn. Here is mine: freewebterrorist@hotmail.com
Hope his insurance covers that. I was a soccer ref one time and a fat kid fell on a not so fat one. Knocked one of his teeth out. His expression was hilarious (mixture of surprise and pain like 'Wtf was that?'), but he had no dental insurance, last time I heard... Btw, it was an adult tooth, and now he won't have one for the rest of his life. Haha. That's what he gets for being behind a fat kid.
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