To my Whiteyville friend:

By the way I called and called and called, but huh?....No answer, shocker! Hey why don't you learn to work your phones, then when your true friends are in need, they can get a hold of you! Like yesterday, when I was in the world all alone, you think I would call some pansy like Josh to come save me? (j/k Josh I love you, you are really my favorite) No I needed the help of some strong, Jewish man! Grrrr!