The World According to T

Welcome, to the 21st Century

2006-12-29T09:47:00.000-06:00

Wow, I thought it had been awhile before...I am now officially connected to the interent. It is crazy to think that it has taken me this long to become a member of the world wide web. But it is not all bad, I watched a lot of T.V. Anyway, I don't know if anyone still reads this thing, but I will continue to update on a regular basis. For now, I must continue setting up this P.C.

Wow....it has been awhile....

2006-04-11T17:22:00.000-05:00

Well I am back, I do not know how long I will continue to blog before life drags me back down into the murky waters of busy-ness and overloaded-ness, only to tease me with a breath here and there! Anyway life is going oh-so-well for me. Nothing too new, just trying to maintain my sanity; one job, class time, 8 drag kings, and a woman to keep track of! Anyway for those of you that I have ignored...I apologize once again. I hope all is well with you!

It has been awhile...

2006-03-15T19:38:00.000-06:00

So that's a "No" to UIC. But it's okay, it just means that it was not meant to happen right now.

UIC here I come!....I think?....

2005-12-08T13:12:00.000-06:00

So in the mail today I received an envelope, from UIC, University of Illinois at Chicago...my heart sank. Maybe it's because ever since I was little I have loved the city of Chicago, or maybe it's the trips that I have taken over the last few years that have me really appreciate that city, I am not sure...but I started thinking, that maybe this was the one, that one school that could make everything happen for me. Or maybe it could be that one rejection letter that sets me over the edge...whatever it was or may be , it made me reel on my heels. This one I thought, this is the one that I must make perfect, the essay, the letters of recommendation...everything, it has to be perfect! So here I am staring at the application, wondering if maybe this could be the letter that says, Dear Ms so-and-so, we are happy to inform you that you will be part of the graduate class of 2006-2007 school year....oh and by the way we have included a check for $100,000 for any schooling expenses that you might occur during your stay in Chicago...It's nice to dream isn't it?

Finals

2005-12-04T16:07:00.000-06:00

Finals are upon us and I will be super busy with studying and crap like that! Wiah me luck!

I am trying....

2005-11-22T15:42:00.001-06:00

I know, I know, I know....I am trying to post often and regular, but with classes only three days a week and then it is only on campus for a few hours, it is hard. Let's see, nothing has really changed, I have decided that maybe it is time that I grow up and get a job. The plan was for me to move out of Omaha no matter what as of August, but now I am thinking that maybe moving and wasting money to move, just to be working another dead-end job maybe not be the smartest thing in the world. So I may not be leaving Omaha...at least not yet. Mom keeps badgering me about it and says stuff like, "well I know you an Cathy like eachother..." C'mon mom, no offense but I would not sacrifice my future for someone, I have learned some lessons in the past, and I may not have caught on to all of them but I think that I understand the one about being able to support oneself, before being able to support another...anyway I know that my mom just wants the best for me but I just want to talk to her and not be nagged everytime that I see her. It stressed me out to the point that I don't even want to come around anymore....anyway enough of that venting, mom I know that you read this on occasion, and I love you, but relax, this will all work out in the end!

Moving on, my girlfriend, I have had a few questions about her, and while yes, I should probably be doing this over the phone in person, this will have to do for right now! She is wonderful, I told her the other day that because she loves me for moron I can be is why I love her so much. She puts up with my bullshit, can take a joke, can dish it right back in my face and doesn't mind my snoring! So basically, things are swell, we have been "dating" for about a month and a half, she has met my family and I have met some of her's, but being that she has 7 brothers and sisters I may not meet them all very soon. She is the Quality Director at Nova, which is a local drug and alcohol rehab center here in Omaha. Some of her faults...she is in love with NE Patriots QB Tom Brady, she likes the Packers and is not a big fan of beer. But I seem to be able to see past those faults, because I wouldn't mind watching football with her, even if she is oogling the QB or the Packers, and the beer thing, well I have learned to like Vanilla Stoli and Diet Coke!

Anyway to my fans I apologize, over and over again, I have done a crap job of staying current, but I will try hard from now, it will be my thanksgiving resolution!

I am trying....

2005-11-22T15:42:00.000-06:00

So The Fans Have Been Crying For More...

2005-11-12T10:36:00.000-06:00

So since I have seriously been slacking in all areas of blogging, friendships and the like...I figure that I should get this done...baby steps, you all, baby steps! Where to start?...well I have been dating someone for the last month, she is absolutely wonderful. This relationship is so weird because it is nothing like the dysfunctional ones I have had in the past....except for the frequent use of chains and whips in the bedroom! Hey there has to be a kink somewhere...I said kink-y! Ha ha ha...anyway things are going well and I have a feeling that I will keep her around for awhile. She likes me and I guess that is all I can ask for right?! She even likes some of my friends!

Anyway for those of you who haven't met her, we should do that some time soon. Other than that work sucks I have about hit my limit for the "excuse me sir...I mean ma'am" 's at work! I am tired of Chills and am really contemplating a real job, maybe I can put my degree to use! Oh wait, who am I kidding?! Seriously though it is killing me...so this week will be devoted to a job search and hopefully soon! The family is ok, steph is enjoying school and mom and dad bought a new used truck for hauling crap. It will be good for me because the Chevy is breaking down more and more frequently. However, dad said that we need to talk about the "rules of use" for the truck, so I have a feeling that it will be like trying to break into Fort Knox in order to use the damn thing, I might be better off by just buying a bicycle! Oh well, I must be off i need to burn the CD for tonight's show, it will be awesome! If you haven't been on the website that I linked to on the left you should check out our blogger blogsite. That's the poster I designed...damn I am so talented!

Some Interesting New developments....

2005-10-17T20:26:00.000-05:00

So to those of you that I have ignored the last few weeks....I apologize, life has taken a dramatic change in direction, nothing bad, but if I owe you a phone call or a en e-mail, soon I promise. If I owe you a birthday present they are sitting there on my dresser, during the whole car incident they were returned and never re-sent. So this one will be quick in hopes that I might be able to make a few phone calls.

We had a show last night, told by many that it was the best show ever! Really excited about the fever that has been rising over the Kingsmen. Crazy, crazy stuff....

Hanging out vs. Dating

2005-10-05T16:38:00.000-05:00

I have been having this "discussion" with someone recently about the differences in "Hanging out and Dating", if you have a comment please let me know because apparently I have no idea what I am talking about!

Anyway onto business, I have for the most part been neglecting my blogging responsibilities, and all other forms of communication at that. So for those of you that are expecting a call, please give me a few more days, I will make it up to you. Other than being suffocatingly busy, yet for some reason I really have nothing to do, there is not much happening on this end. For the most part I go to class, work, find some time to dabble in the art of dragging, and piss off various family members...if you are family of mine and I have yet to piss you off, again give me a few days....

So once again I am off to class, wish me luck...
Buona fortuna a voi anche
Ciao!

Dear Momma,

2005-09-22T12:53:00.000-05:00

Wow, it has only been a week since I woke up and found my baby missing...yeah, many of you already know that my car was stolen one week ago today...I went through the range of emotions; disbelief, anger, hatred, hysterics, sullenness...everything that you can imagine, I felt and lived through.

Unless it has happened to you, one cannot understand that feeling of violation, intrusion of privacy, to know someone had been in my car, looking through my things...the stupid minor stuff, they stole my stereo (probably the least valuable thing in the car), and my show CD's this is what pained me the most, being as I have worked hard to create my characters, learning music, dance moves, and what-not, and they come into my life, and steal all that I have worked hard to get...I still am in utter disbelief that this happened, maybe it was karma coming back to kick me in the ass, I don't know, but I do not wish it upon anyone.

I will find out who did this, because they not only fucked with me, but they fucked with my family, my friends and my life...this is considered a "minor case" to the police, because yes, I can understand that there are bigger fish to fry...but to me and those that this affected, this sorry sap is on my list...Don't fuck with an angry lesbian!

It was weird, the first thing I thought when I saw that my car was missing was, "oh man what was in there that might lead these assholes to other people in my life..." I was lucky enough that the important stuff, the contents of my bookbag were not touched...so to all of you out there, the ones I called and said to watch for my car, to all of you that have listened to me complain...to everyone thank you. This may be just a car to most, but this car has been part of my life for over 15 years, it has memories of younger more innocent times.

The Heavy Chevy is back...and may God help those that fuck with her!

From $300 in meds to 9/11...a retrospective

2005-09-12T21:51:00.000-05:00

Oh man the last couple of weeks have been hectic, apparently this is the time of year for seasonal allergies, well as many of you know I am not only stubborn, but also bull-headed and often refuse to go to the doctor until it is too late. Well, not this year I decided that I would take care of myself, so when those damn allergies got a hold of me I trekked my way into the doctor's office and was told that once again, I was a little late, and next February that I need to come in as soon as I start getting congested. Well I did pretty well this year, I got out of the appointment with a mere Z-Pak of antibiotics and some free samples of allergy rx. Last year, if you remember I was given antibiotics, an inhaler, advair, a nebulizer treatment, a prescription decongestant and some allergy pills, that will take a few hundred out of a girl's pocket! But 5 days later I am up and moving, still a little swelling in the lymph nodes and some basic soreness, but other than that I am doing okay!

Mom's birthday was today, did dinner gave her a card said something like, "Wishing you a Happy Birthday from the intelligent, sensitive, caring one...." then you open the card and on the inside it says, "what do you mean 'who?'" Went to a Chinese place, not to shabby, I am a sucker for shitty Chinese but I probably won't return to this little shanty. Talked about everything from New Orleans to Flight 93 to how my mom feels guilty about me always being sick, something about her smoking while she was pregnant with me. Oh Blah I say to that, it was a different time back then, and my allergies and sinus problems have nothing to do with her smoking, it probably has to do with all the coke I did in high school....just kidding mom, wanted to get a rise out you...tell the office ladies to relax and un-tangle their panties....it was a joke, a funny, something to laugh at... you know the kind.

Had show this weekend, in no shape to perform being as that I could not climb a flight of stairs without almost passing out, limited lung capacity sucks! But I went and watched and helped the girls with what I could, took a lot out of me, but it was good, I hated being there and not being able to perform. I really do find some sort of solace in this entertainment industry. Working on the website, many trips coming up, it seems. Kansas City, Lincoln, Winnipeg...all for the Kingsmen. We have e-mails sent to clubs and directors on our behalf, this phenomenon, or whatever you may call it, really takes me aback sometimes!

9/11 yesterday, weird to think that it was only 4 years ago, I can remember the call, it was from a friend of mine in the reserves, she calls and says, "Terri wake up we are under attack, I will probably be getting a call to be ready for mobilization"...it took me a minute to comprehend what was happening, then as the fog of my mind started to lift, I bounded to the front room, and turned on the TV, it didn't matter that the night before I had been watching ESPN, there was a crawl, telling of the events. I turned the station just in time to see the first tower smoldering, and the dark shadow of another plane loom in the background, surly that must be some type of police plane/chopper that I was unaware of...just as the second plane hit, on live television all across the United States, people watched in horror. Unaware of the loss that would soon be upon us, that we incur daily as many of our young soldiers are bombarded in Iraq. Hearing of people jumping from the blasted windows to escape the firery hell, wondering if that little piece of debris that I just saw fall from the building was really a human being?....4 years is a long time, long enough to graduate from college, long enough to meet new people, know them for a bit, and disregard them, almost entirely forgetting who they might be....4 years, it is a long time, but 9/11 will be one of those days, that everyone will remember where they were, and what they were doing. Some other dates like that for me personally; Declaration of War on Iraq (both times), the bombing of the bridge where an Army Ranger was killed, Challenger Flight, nomination of Sandra Day O'conner to the US Supreme Court...just to name a few. It is weird to think what makes things like that stick out in one's mind, what the weather was like, how my room smelled at the time, the way the sun shone through the classroom windows....

I will end for now, but I want to apologize for the disregard I have shown my blogsite, the sickness had overcome me. I also want to give a shoutout to my homies; Frank, Kiki, and Mike, you guys made it, and soon all will be well! Crazy to know that you have gone cross country, I know the times you spent on the road, in the hotel, worrying, upset, hateful....it is all so close to being over...

Mike-You keep that nose to the grindstone, if you don't know what that means ask Dax (he knows everything). Do well in school, without it, life can be hard...I am so glad that my ten year old buddy is liking girls, if I had an influence on that then thank the good lord! Be good at Ft. Lewis and experience all that the area has to offer, you are so young, and yet you have so many opportunities that will come your way!

Frank-Hang in there, with all the inprocessing paperwork and drama, the 275 got lucky getting you. Keep that family of yours safe, as well as yourself...That 1SG will come soon, keep me informed, can't wait to be able to hang without the precursor of DIY move to cloud up the fun.

Kiki-What can I say to you other than you are a strong woman...cross-country, numerous car troubles, close accommodations 24/7...you too, take care of yourself. Enjoy your new home, you are not a "small town woman"...you are able to make any place your home! It's the people and family around you that make it a place to live and love!

Well that is all of the rambling that I have for you now...to be followed soon!

Lots of Time Spent...

2005-08-28T15:53:00.000-05:00

So wow, the first week of class is over and gone, of course Financial Aide is killing me, I just wanna ring their necks sometimes! Other than that I have spent most of the day revamping, the kingsmen e-mail folders, labeling CD's, messing with a possible poster idea, and fucking around with my parent's computer....Nothing too special, but hey, whatever, everyone needs a day here and there....

By the way, for those of you interested, I met a Ranger last night, a sniper from the 3-75 knew my buddy Frank, small world isn't it?

About That!

2005-08-23T18:11:00.000-05:00

So here I am two days into class and not really head over heels for any of my classes, had a "talk" with my advisor today, more like him chatting at me, and he was distraught that I had found a graduate program that I liked. He kept saying, "No Terri you should stay here and finish this degree..." Now I like him a lot, but seriously, don't give me shitty advice to make your numbers look good, do you think that I am not smart enough to figure out that your funding is directly derived from the number of students that you admit and hold in your department?....I have a degree, in Math....seriously, if I could not figure that out then maybe I should be stripped of my degree and thrown back to high school! Then he told me that maybe I should think about not registering for this religion class I am taking...You wanna know why kids get burned out? Because of advisors like this man, who push and push and push, how can a student be expected to take classes that are only going to help him or her towards their degree and not advance their being? Why can't they take one class that is a class of "interest" Anyway that is my rant for now, lots of stuff to do, may not post for another couple of days, sorry to all my daily readers...Mom!

Check out the Video!

2005-08-17T23:32:00.000-05:00

Oh man tonight was our first rehearsal as a "new" group. Leigh our director has moved on to New York, well soon he will be. It was weird, there was a different aura in the air, I can't say if it was better or worse, but just different. We accomplished a hell of a lot of choreography. The name of our next show is, "Keep Rolling". So for all you fans out there, check it out! I must end for now, lots to do, and well I am leaving town in a few hours...so if I am off to see you then I will see you, if not, keep it straight out there ,and to all the kids starting school...I will see you there!

Here is a shout out to Gene!

2005-08-12T11:18:00.000-05:00

So I met this guy last night, his name was Gene, he is/was an ex-boyfriend of one of my friends. We started talking, you know the usual small talk; politics, economics, the war in Iraq, and on drugs, the U.S.' foreign policy on terroistic cells held under a religious sect of one kind or another....you know just the day in day out, mundane kind of talk.

It hit me like a big rig semi named Belle, most of my friends are Republicans. It struck me as odd, because in this date and time, most want to be around those with the same thought process and views as themselves. And with the exception of my family, and a few others, that I truly consider to be my friends and not just some acquaintance, everyone I know is a Republican. Maybe it is the highly religious people that I tend to consort with (however on a side note I was in a church last night for a PFLAG presentation and I escaped without any injuries, plus the building itself was still standing. There was a small "electrical fire" which the minister thought was due to the surge of electricity from the lightening strike but we won't know until the building inspector comes to assess the damages) which come from a religious family, where their entire life it has been part of the everyday routine. Go to church three times a week, be there for youth group, be there for adult group, be there to play in the "band" be there for Sunday school, church, and the light brunch afterwards. For some reason, these type of people flock to me, maybe because (I like to think) that I break that "normal lesbian" stereotype. Which is not a bad thing, but then when conversations come to politics, as they always do, I find these things out about these people and it blows my mind.

Most of our conversations do wind up on the subject of politics, well with those that are close enough to me to have that conversation. I have noticed that when people are friends with someone from a different background, whether it be religious, sexual orientation, whatever is the difference between the two, it makes for a better forum. Before these people met me, I do not think that gay rights would have been on the top of their list, but it funny to see peoples' perception change influence how they act in the everyday world, how it affects their view, their attitude and most importantly their vote. Here is a little story for you, and then I will be on my way and you won't have to listen to the ramblings of a tired old woman!

Earlier in the year, I went to this kegger with a few friends, it was out in this field, in the middle of nowhere. One of the guys with me was just an acquaintance from work, a guy I saw maybe a few times a week, but he was cool enough. We had had a conversation about gay and lesbian couples. As any hetero man would tell you, "I understand two chicks, but two guys, I just don't get it" Well throughout the night, people became a little more loose lipped, and I spotted a hottie on the other side of the fire pit, so I strut over there, and one of her party members, gets up and says, "I cannot believe that you would say something like that!" I sit down and strike up conversation with the hottie, and she says, "that they are having an intellectual conversation and it is all good, they really aren't mad at eachother". She points out her roommate, which is the girl who was up in arms, and her brother and his roommate, who obviously were the provokers at this point.

I was curious, so I started asking what it was that had gotten her roommate all excited...gay marriage. Her little brother, who I think was a skin head (because of the tattoos, bald head, and the point of views that he held) was stating something about how Gays are disgusting and blah blah blah. Whatever, so I say, "that's funny because I was actually coming over to tell your sister that she is gorgeous, and ask if we could go grab a beer." If I ever thought I was gonna get hit, it might have been at that moment, but it wouldn't be the last time of the night that I felt that urge that I might have opened my mouth around the wrong people. Next thing I know this guy, we will call him Kyle, came over, now this guy is about 6 foot tall, about 180, pure solid ripped muscle, he is/was a kickboxing champ in Souix City.

So Kyle came over and started talking to the brother, talking about homosexuality, and asking him questions. Kyle looks at me and says, "Terri this guy says that 'homos' are fucked up in the head and that they should all be taken care of. Is that the truth? Are homos fucked up in the head" I respond with, "I am pretty sure that I have all normal function, oh yeah and I am smarter than him too." Kyle then preceded to tell the guy to shut up or that they could take care of this away from the group of people. He was protective of me, I thought that was awesome! Anyway that is a lot of schnat for you all to read, so I will end here. Just think about all of those that you call friends and how your views would affect them.

We don't have to (or should we want to) be clones when it comes to political views, if we were then life would be mundane and boring, become friends with someone of a different lifestyle, broaden your horizons. If you are homophobic, got to a PFLAG meeting, if you are intolerant of other races, surround yourself with those types of people. Most hatred comes from not understanding and fear. Do not hate me because I am gay, Jewish, Transgender, Hispanic, Muslim. More than likely you hate me because you do not know me. Take some time, learn who I am then you can hate me! Deal?

To my Whiteyville friend:

2005-08-11T15:20:00.000-05:00

By the way I called and called and called, but huh?....No answer, shocker! Hey why don't you learn to work your phones, then when your true friends are in need, they can get a hold of you! Like yesterday, when I was in the world all alone, you think I would call some pansy like Josh to come save me? (j/k Josh I love you, you are really my favorite) No I needed the help of some strong, Jewish man! Grrrr!

Yeah so whatever happened to "treat others as you would want to be treated?"

2005-08-10T23:59:00.000-05:00

So catch this, today I was running errands, when my car died...So there I am looking under the hood, I call "the father" and he says that it sounded like I needed a new battery. So I figured that I could ask someone to jump start me so I could get to my house, I mean it was west Omaha, most of the people are just dying to help others, then they can rub it in the faces of all their goody-two-shoes ritchie friends, "ha ha ha I got to help some poor north 'O' street rat" Blah someone kick me in the face! So I kind of stand off from this one lady, who has kids, but remember, I can understand how awkward it can be to have some stranger approach your car, so I tried to ask through the window, she was civil enough to roll done the window and explain that her radiator was leaking and that she needed to get the car home...Yeah she had a huge leak.

So there I was contemplating my next move, when two middle age ladies walk past me, "excuse me ladies, can I help me out and give me a jump?" The passenger looks to the driver and says, "I don't believe that we have any jumper cables", "oh that's okay I have a pair, I just need the jump" The driver looks to her passenger, and then looks to me, sort of in this way in which I got the distinct impression that she 'thought' she was better than me. She responds with, "Um no...." and precedes to get into her car and drive away. What a friggen bitch! Seriously, I hope that one day I get to meet her again, and I hope she has an open wound from a raccoon bite, I will then look her in the eye while I spit on her!

You know I may not look like an upstanding citizen, but all I can say is that at least I know that I am smarter than that bitch! It just torqued the hell out of me, there I was stranded, and that bitch pretty much rubbed my nose in it! Wow, she just pissed the crap out of me! As you can tell I am still bent over it!

Oh man....

2005-08-09T19:02:00.000-05:00

I am so proud of myself, isn't it funny how people get so cocky when they do something cool? Yeah so here it is, a blast from the past, this is your DJ Jazzy T saying, keep it safe Omaha, real safe!

Dear Fort Lewis,

2005-08-09T16:09:00.000-05:00

Wow, where to start? So much has happened in the last few weeks/months/years...MSG and Mrs. John F. Wear III will be relocating to your kind housing quarters in the next month. I was sitting here, thinking the other day about all of the times we had spent together. The Tuesday nights spent watching movies and having dinner, the nights at Chili's bitching about service and getting sloshed on Calypso Coolers, and all the empty threats made to all of those that "hate me". Not that they are empty, but rather knowing that "the man" would protect me as if I were part of the ever-growing family.

Knowing that they are moving again, boggels my mind, just to think, a little over a year ago we were packing the truck, on that cold, dreary Sunday. Our relationship has changed over the past year, we have not drifted, but rather the bonds that tie us, have become broad and strong. I hope when they arrive on your doorstep, they are made to feel at home, that your walls provide a home and place to thrive over the next few years. Keep them safe, and help to create a place that they can call home, answer all those begging questions, and tell them that I love them.

Respectfully,
Terri

Oh man! Sometimes don't you feel like just a friggen moron!

2005-08-08T23:34:00.000-05:00

Yeah about that!

Yeah baby I am a friggen genius!

2005-08-08T14:34:00.000-05:00

So about that....

2005-08-08T13:48:00.000-05:00

I spent the better of two hours last night on the addition to my blog, I may have not accomplished much but I think I learned a hell of a lot!

Avenue Q-part of my birthday celebrations, and by the way if any of you want to send me to see it on Broadway...

2005-08-07T15:55:00.000-05:00

Just to make you feel sorry....

2005-08-06T11:14:00.000-05:00

It is my birthday, and since midnight of last night I have talked to roughly about 50% of my family, and not one of them has remembered! Only three of my friends have called to say Happy Birthday, and I am pissed, I think I might leave town for a day! Anyway just wanted to rant and make myself feel better, besides it is my birthday!

The website and this last weekend...

2005-08-04T14:35:00.000-05:00

Well the Kingsmen website is up and running, still under construction, but our next PR poster is up, you should check it out. I unveiled a new character this last weekend, apparently he was a hit, disgusting, raw, and not worthy of praise but he was well liked. Mom and Dad came, I think they enjoyed themselves, Mom always says things like, "Terri, you have to be careful what you say, people might be offended." and I am sure after seeing this weekend's show, she was horrified by my portrayal of an innocent truck driver, named Moe...." Well this one is for you mom, maybe it will explain a little better.

This is how I see it, people are stereotyped everyday, pigeon-ed hole into how people think they act or how they should act. Whether they be of a certain race, religion, sexual orientation, culture, or even gender. Everyday, at work I hear people refuse to take "Canadian" tables, because they will not tip, so if I offer to take that table, I give them excellent service, and I still do not receive a tip for my hard work what does that mean?...It means that they have just become part of the stereotype, that they themselves are irritated of. My mom feels that I unjustly "accuse" all people of being the same. That is a stereotype, now there is a difference between a stereotype and discrimination, and discrimination would be if I refused to take that table. I may be one of the few people that do not let my stereotypes influence the way I act towards a certain culture, race, gender, religion, or sexual orientaion.

I myself have been part of that discriminated group, more than most of you will know. So when I say something, or portray a character flaw of a certain group of people it is not that I disrespect that group of people, it is the exact opposite. For example I have an avid reader of this site, whom I respect their religion, and the courage that it took to understand that background, coming from a complete opposite childhood. I can understand the faith and state of mind it took to embrace the path that has been laid out for him. And it is only in the jesting that one can truly find the foundation of one's self. If we cannot joke about our own being, how is it possible for us to understand those who more or less hate all that are not like them.

I have met many people that come from a very opposite childhood than I, and before they "knew" me, we became friends, it was then that these people really learned about "my stereotype" and it was impossible to pigeon-hole me. Because I had broken all prior experiences about that one certain type of person. So mom, I hope when you read this, it all makes sense as to why the jokes I tell, I am able to find humor in, because if we can't laugh at ourselves, our own flaws, then how do we expect others to love and accept us.

As a side note, this is for all of you out there that do not feel like a change is possible. Definition of a majority-
The greater number or part; a number more than half of the total
and the definition of a minority-
The smaller in number of two groups forming a whole

So think about this, if the majority runs the world, does it mean that over half of the total has the power? No, it means that the total whole has more popularity, example-38% of people like the color black, 12% of the people like the color red because it is part of the US flag, and 18% of people like the color white because it is part of the US flag and the remaining 32% of the people like the color blue because it is part of the US flag. Now if those people who like the colors red, white, and blue, voted strictly on a one issue (i.e. color they liked the most) ballot, they would surely lose. However, if they took the entire picture into account and said, well I love the color red, because it is part of the US flag, but without the white and blue, it would look like a spaghetti stained tablecloth, maybe I should take into account that fact, then all of a sudden the minorities have banded together to form the majority.

The minorities now have the power, so all of you that feel pigeon-ed hole, all of the different stereotypes you hear about race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, and cultural differences should be the fuel to start a revolution. The world is heading down a spiral staircase to a dark and scary dungeon. Find the similarities between you and your neighbor, do not focus on the differences, despite what you hear, things are not getting better, do you ever hear people say, it's not the good 'ole days? There is a reason why!

Here is a shout out to all the Army Corps of Engineers!

2005-07-26T20:52:00.000-05:00

So my mom keeps telling my me that, "all her friends at work read my blog, and I need to be more conscienscious of what I say, and how it is said".... blah blah blah. Yeah so sorry if I offend anyone, but basically, like my front page says...this is my life, welcome to it! PEACE!

Here is something that Dan cannot read....

2005-07-26T20:50:00.000-05:00

Dan Sucks! Ha ha ha, sometimes it is fun to make fun of my color-blind friend!

Forget the cushions, Save the coolers....Cluster Fuck Float Trip 2005

2005-07-25T14:05:00.000-05:00

Oh wow! Just recovering from my float trip...yeah me and a few buddies went on a float trip down the Niobrara....you know lots of sun, bikini clad strangers, and plenty of beer and drunken hi-jinx.....well we had none of that....well except the beer part.

So the plan was to get a bunch of people together and bring lots of beer and just hang out and relax....well as many of you already know, plans rarely succeed! So here we were from 18 people to just 8 causing my expense to go up, irritating me, but what can you do? Words of advice, people are flaky, and next time get the cash up front! So we were planning on leaving Omaha at 9:00 am on Friday morning, driving the 6 hours to Niobrara, setting up camp, chilling out, getting up on Saturday, floating down the river, passing out and getting up on Sunday and coming home after a weekend of fun, relaxation, and....let's just call it "European Hi-jinx".

Cut to Friday morning, 11:00 a.m., when we are at Bakers getting beer. Then thinking that maybe just maybe we might need the extra room, I convince one of the people that they needed to drive their Explorer, well the plan was for a few of us to ride in the bed of the truck to keep the beer safe, don't worry we had a DVD player to keep us company....oh yeah and there was a topper. (That was for all you out their saying, geez I thought I raised her better....I mean I thought Terri was smarted than that....well it is amazing what slamming five beers before 10:00 in the morning will do to your judgment!) Anywho, so we got on the road, one Explorer-four people and one truck-two people in the cab, two in the truck and 8 cases of beer!

We are on our way to Niobrara, when we stop like two hours into the journey, what the hell?! I mean c'mon if you can't make two hours without stopping then you are like an 90 year old woman that lost all bladder control and didn't have her bag with her. But it was good because the driver of the truck was jealous that he couldn't drink, so he jumped in the back, and we continued on our way. The new plan was to stop an change drivers, that way we all got a chance to drink on the way up and no one was drinking and driving. If we had planned better we would have brought a few 17 year olds with us, that way they could have driven the entire way, and been our beer bitches!

Finally we hit camp site, and let me tell you that I know I bitch about technology a little more than I should, but whoever invented that tent that basically you just throw up into the air and it lands all set up was a genius, yeah I said G-E-N-I-U-S! Because I fell....well rather rolled...out of the truck and took my tent to a shady spot, threw that baby up, and shit I had another beer opened by the time it hit the ground and popped open, fully set-up....meanwhile, the boys are struggling with their mess of poles, extra hooks and fabric! And I do have to make a disclaimer here, because I did not bring a watch and my phone did not have service I did not run on normal time, but rather on what I like to refer to as Busch time, meaning the number of beers before the next event occurred. So for example, I had my tent all set up, and two beers later the other tent was set up and the camp fire was "roaring" (and by roaring I mean that it was fizzling, before they let the lez take over, in a matter of oh about three drinks of a beer I had the fire up and going....yeah sure Phil you loosened....I mean started it for me!) Anywho, one beer later we decided to jump in the river and relax.

About seven beers later and half of a 1.75 of mostly Captain and very little coke, we stumble up the bank back to our campsite, and decide we should get something in our stomach, because tomorrow is gonna be a big day of drinking! Well long story short, we eat, pass-out, sleep very little because while it was 105 here, it was about 10 degrees hotter there! So we wake up and realize that we need ice or our trip down the river with warm beer was gonna suck, well all-in-all we got ice, made it to the launch spot, and started out 5 hour journey down the river...7 and a half hours later, with seven fried people, three passed out "sailors", one less inner-tube, 2 pairs of shoes lost, three minor injuries, one mid-major injury, and about three-quarters of the six cases of beer finished we crawled on the the landing spot.

We headed back to camp exhausted, starving, sore, and just plain crabby we ate a light dinner, and I went to grab about a three beer nap, roughly an hour or so. I woke up and realized that my pillow was soaking wet from sweating, both because of the heat and my sunburn...I caught up with a couple people as they were leaving to go take a cold shower to try and cool down...and as we entered the shower facilities and learned that it would be about an hour to shower, someone said, "I wouldn't be opposed to going home now....(giggle)" I replied with, "my thoughts exactly, let's see what everyone thinks, no seriously let's go ask." Before I knew it, camp was torn down all the trash was picked up and we were on our way back home. I could stand to lose $6 in order to sleep in my own bed, in the air conditioning. So when we got into the car, at about 7:15 p.m. the thermometer read 107, I can only imagine what it was at 4:00 that afternoon when we had been on the river.

So seven hours, three stops later, with the Explorer holding four, the truck holding three (if you will notice we lost someone along the way), everyone happy because we all got to sit in the air conditioned cars, especially the two cases of heat exhaustion, we were back in Omaha. All in all it was a good trip, lots of beer drank, lots of hotties spotted, and lot's of bullshit drama, but now I know who and who I can't take on road trips! So I hope you enjoyed the saga, there are many more details, if you want to hear them, let me know, other wise this entry might have gotten too long! (Damn I am one funny chick!)

I have had a few requests...

2005-07-17T13:34:00.000-05:00

Well I have had a request to tell the "true" story of my nose being broken...It happened about week ago, actually just last Sunday. I had a few people out to the lake and we were chilling in the tubes and just hanging out. Dan and I were reminiscing of our trip to Amsterdam, and all the shots that came with it. We started telling the stories of the alcohol, and drugs, and all the hookers, when were were asked about the one-legged deaf mute that we had shared. Well it went something like this..............

We had been all over Amsterdam, spending money on food, drinks and other "bad stuff" (that apparently no matter how much I deny, people will not believe that I went to Amsterdam and did not smoke any pot...oh well, why do I have to explain myself!). So moving on, Dan and I had talked about meaningless European sex, and we thought maybe Amsterdam was the place to go. We had decided that we could definitely go "half-sies" on a prostitute. When we got there, we started talking with the chick, and she said that for a "dooble-eefurt" which I guess is what they call a three-some, which is not exactly what we had in mind, but whatever, it was gonna cost us 80 Euro. Which was absolutely crazy, because we were told that it would only cost 35-50 Euro. Since we had spent all of our money so far, she directed us to her "sister", which I don't really think was her sister, but rather a prostitute that she felt sorry for.

So we spend about an hour to get to this other chick's place and we started talking with this guy, and before we know it he sends for the girl we came to see. Well this horrible angry dwarf of a troll comes out, one leg, a patch over one eye and the other was clouded up like she had had cataracts for thirty years of her short life. He took her by the hand and led her to the bed, and started doing sign language in the palm of her hand....this guy was her translator....well long story short, Dan and I got into it. We fought and wound up missing our train. Sitting in the rain a few hours later, waiting for dawn and the next train, we didn't speak to eachother.

The train finally showed up later and we boarded, being dead tired, and a little pissed off, we were not paying attention. We crossed the border, and were soon asked for our boarding passes, again because we were so tired, we had filled out the passes wrong. The train conductor who was just waiting to grab someone by the collar, because really what she wanted was to be a police officer, but because she was so fat and wasn't very good with a baton, she was knocked down to train duty, snatched me up and sent Dan and I to the front of the train, where we were ticketed, handcuffed, and sent to the next stop where we were picked up and put in jail until they figured the whole thing out. So there we are waiting for the fucking morons of the Amsterdam police department to figure out what exactly happened, and why we were being detained, when Dan moved close to me and told me to look nonchalantly across the cell...there was a large black man basically eye-fucking Dan.

He moved across the cell like a lion on the prowl, he sat down beside me, and starting speaking Dutch, I stopped him mid sentence and said, "look you fucking moron, if you don't speak English to me I am going to have to shove your balls back into your abdomen! Shut the fuck up!" Next thing I know he has me by the throat, and banging me head against the wall, and is saying, that he wants my "beetch"...."Fine!" I yell, not really knowing what the hell is going on, when he drops me on the floor, kicks me in the gut and grabs Dan's arm. Well being tired, sore, and a little pissed at Dan for wanting to talk to the deaf mute of a prostitute, I let him go.

Jump to this last Sunday, we started telling the story, and Dan not finding it funny, started walking up the beach, I yelled back to him, "whut's de ma-tter? Are you a leetle beetch?" He turned with flames in his eyes and ran back towards me, pushing me into the water. Not knowing exactly what set him off, I grabbed for his hands around my neck and dug my fingers into them. when he loosened his grip I came back above water and pushed him off of me. He grabbed my leg and tripped me, he turned me over and pinned me down. reaching out for anything I found the canoe paddle and swung it as hard as I could. It caught him on the side of the head and split his head open, but it also knocked him off of me, he regained his composure and found the other paddle and took a swing at me, I jumped out of the way and pinned his paddle with mine and kicked him in the groin, but he caught my foot and tripped me up again, the next thing I know he swung for me face, and I tried to duck, but he caught me right on the nose and split it wide open across the bridge.

At that point we both sorta collapsed, bleeding and exhausted, as our friends and "onlookers" rushed to us, they were stunned by what had just happened. I guess there was just a lot of pent up anger from that Amsterdam trip, I should have never given up my "beetch" and Dan agreed that he should have never wanted to stayed with the prostitute. All in all we both got pretty messed up, the money maker isn't as straight as it was, whether you can say that it was ever straight I do not know....but we both will have a great story to tell!

Reverse racism....sorta

2005-07-14T01:10:00.000-05:00

So today, I met up with Dan and his four "siblings" at the house. Dan was to take the kids to SkateWorld, which for any of you morons out there is a total rip-off of SkateLand, it was like when you were little and your parents tried to pawn off on you that crappy Hy-Vee soda....anyway, what's worse than having four kids between the ages of 6 and 8?....Adding a fifth child who was short, annoying and way too uncool to be hanging out with us! Plus not to be a jerk, but she was totally Veruca Salt-like. If you know what I mean you are cool. If you have to look up who Veruca Salt was, and trust me it is not a band, then you suck and should not be allowed to breed!

Yeah, so there we are watching the kids skate, when Dan tells me to watch one of the younger ones, and as he falls trying to get up from his last stumble, we start to laugh and Dan informs me that we cannot let him see us laugh, because he is "sensitive". Hello 'mo! Anywho there we are watching them make their slow but sure passes, some on skates, others on roller blades, when I notice the youngest one on the far side, along the wall taking his time. I also notice a rather large, older girl who should not have been skating with the young kids, I mean c'mon people isn't there a weight limit or something for these skate parties?! So as I sit here I swear to you that this all happened in slow motion, as the youngest turns around and sees his unfortunate but too real death pending over his head as the fat chick skates his way.......backwards. I see the impatientness in his little legs as they start to glide faster and faster, and before anyone could say anything, I nudged Dan to encourage a glance in the direction of the upcoming tragedy.....and *BOOM* she hits him, skating backwards, flies over and lands on his frail 6 year old body

As by the grace of God he starts to push her off with the strength of 10 full-grown men, and yells loud enough for the entire rink to hear....."watch were you are going fatty!" as she picks herself up from the complete embarrassment of being "smoked" by a 6 year old, she makes her way to the other side of the rink where Dan and I are sitting, and we continue to heckle her....,"nice move wide load" "haven't gotten you daily supply of 6 year old boys? Thought you might have to take this one down by hand?", "need a wide load sign for your ass? What? I can see how that thing could get away from you!"

Oh man what a day! Well all of it was true until the last part..........................................................Dan and I were actually sitting by the coke machine!

By the Way, A Big Shout Out To Dan, My Friend, My Confidant.....oh Yeah and My Nose Breaker!

2005-07-11T21:17:00.000-05:00

Yeah you heard it here first! Dan broke my nose, he didn't mean to, and it is straight again, thanks to my hands and a few too many viewings of "Rocky". Lot's of pain, some swelling not too mush bruising as of yet, but all is well, he feels bad, so everyone tell him it is okay!

I Could Be the Next President!

2005-07-11T21:01:00.000-05:00

So two stories...the other night we were at this party, and this young "guy" was introduced to me, for the purpose of this story and any after this, he shall be referred to as "president guy". So my very young, hot, attractive friend had gone to little people school with president guy, and introduced us and said, "this is my friend, Terri, and Terri this is 'president guy' he wants to be the next president." And I respond with, "oh honey you have about as much luck at being president as I do, in fact how about you be my VP, and then when I am shot after two weeks for being 'a gay', you can take over...then you will have you two weeks of fame!" Yeah big 'mo, don't know if he knows it yet, but give him some time.... Today I single handedly managed to get 7 totally uninvolved people in a four state range completely pissed at each other. If that's not a promising presidential candidate I don't know what is!

Speaking of Porn Queens!!!!

2005-07-09T22:33:00.000-05:00

So here I am at my sister's friends' place, and God help me if it ever takes me more than three minutes to get ready! Sometimes I hate girls! Anywho, not much to say but I did just look up porn on some random girl's computer! Go me!

okay long awaited.....

2005-07-06T15:02:00.000-05:00

I am bored, the fourth was a blast, the fireworks at the lake were amazing, I still had a longing for an Army Celebration, maybe next year, Dan is home safe and sound, all the kids have their fingers and toes, I start new Chili's tomorrow, lots of shifts scheduled, but other than that it should be okay, way closer to home, and a few cool people. That was a long ass run-on sentence.

Okay so I was supposed to send an e-mail about Chi-town, so I figure I would post instead. Chicago, things to do, check out boys town! It is the gay Mecca of Chicago, lots of cool bars (Spin, Charlies, etc), some shopping and some eaters You will wanna take the red line north to the Belmont or Addison Exit (I recommend Belmont) then you take a right off of the "L" and follow it to Halstead (3 blocks).

Food:
Ed Debevik's: not sure the exact location but you can type it in an find it,
Exchequer: pizza great food, south on Wabash, between congress and van burean, if I remember correctly it is right off the "L" loop and the orange and purple lines have a stop almost directly in front of the restaurant.
Potbelly sandwiches: a great sandwich shop, they are a chain, you can find them all over.
Shaws: a seafood place, a little on the high-end, but the clam chowder is worth the price.
Portello's: an Italian beef place, not bad, but definitely a touristy place, I would recommend Jay's: I am not sure where they are located, but there are only about three of them and mostly up north around O'Hare sub-burbs.

Things to-do:
Hit Navy Pier, it's free to roam around and full of touristy things to do. If you want to go up the Sear's tower....don't, I mean you can, but a much better view comes from the Handcock center. If you plan on doing touristy things check out the tourist pass, you get admission to like five of Chicago's greats for $50 or something like that. Check out a cubby's game, you can get a good ticket for like $30, but it is mostly an ambiance thing (you can also take the redline all the way north to Wrigley). Grant park, definitely a place to wander around. There are always cultural fair and food happenings in the great city of Chicago, that will be cheap and fun. My best advice, Chicago has a tourist pass for all CTA lines, it basically is a five day pass for all buses and "L" lines for $18, so basically you take the "L" or bus five times in five days and it pays for itself.

Anyway I hope that helps, and you enjoy Chicago!

It's been fun and it's been real, but it ain't been real fun!

2005-07-02T13:26:00.000-05:00

So as of right now I have finished my last morning shift at Chilis Okaview! Hell yeah I am finito with that place....

I got this warning last night from a buddy of mine, he works at the Crossroads Chilis, the one I am transferring to. Apparently they have had problems with sexual harassment, and there is this girl that works there, keep in mind that she is under 18 and dating someone that is over 22, but apparently I said something to her boyfriend, when I was in eating as a customer, about how she was hot, and she was offended! What is wrong with these people? I mean if you are hot I will let you know, whether you are male/female whatever, beautiful people should know that they are hot.

There is such a rush in this country of how everyone is doing something wrong....Why if I give someone a compliment, they see it as a come-on, please honey what people need to realize is to quit being such pansy asses, and suck it up. Oh and by the way, with the resignation of Justice O'Connor, please pray for our very conservative supreme court, before you know it they will be hanging, drawing, and quartering the queers.

First they came for the Jews,
and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for the Communists,
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist.

Then they came for the Homosexuals,
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Homosexual.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists,
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me. -Rev. Niemoller

Everything has an effect on you, so take a stand, because before you know it, it might be too late!

Check it out!

2005-06-30T14:47:00.000-05:00

No real reason why I am posting other than the fact that my readers want more! So work was okay today, made some okay cash, waiting for my one true love to come back from Belgium (I can't lie, actually I am waiting for my gift....) He keeps saying that he is not bringing anyone back anything, but for all you suckers out there....ha ha ha I will get something (I better be getting something I would hate to have to hunt you down!) Anyway I need to steal some music, so I will post more tomorrow!

By the way

2005-06-29T14:47:00.000-05:00

Here are a couple of countdowns that I am looking forward to!

Harry Potter:16 days

Fourth of July:5 days

Dan comes home:4 days

Matt is dragged back by Dan:4 days

Chilis Oakview is no longer:3 days

I'm not afraid of being molested....

2005-06-29T12:32:00.000-05:00

So this above statement was said to me by a fellow co-worker/friend. The conversation went something like this, "well why do I never get a drunk call in the middle of the night?" She responds with, "I usually call 'so-and-so'", and I repeated, "why do I never get a call in the middle of the night?" and it was answered with, "when I call so-and-so, I am not afraid of being molested" "Well you probably should be!"

Why do all straight girls automatically think that all lesbians want them? Trust me if you called and needed a ride home, I would not be in the mood to molest you. One, because I was probably sleeping and pissed that you called and two, you are probably not hot, if you think you can just call at the drop of a dime! (If you were hot, you would have already been in my bed!). It's always the dogs that think that you want them. Not that this one is particularly a dog, persay, but for her to think that the only way I could tap that would for her to be drunk... well honey, I got news for you! They don't call me the toaster king for nothing! And trust me when I say that I have never had to be drunk!

So to all you "straights" with the thought that "the gays" are out to get you....get over it! Because I have dated hotter chicks than you can ever become! To my few friends that are exceptions, kudos!

May you rest in peace.

2005-06-28T15:16:00.000-05:00

Well, this post is for any of you that have ever lost someone dear to you. Where to start...

The pain I saw rush forth from your face as I drove up consumed my every fiber. The lost you had just learned of fresh in your heart, fresh in your mind and shown by the tears brushed away by your shirt. To think that you would see this day, and have to learn to live on, was something I never fathomed. To look in the rear-view mirror and watch the road pass in your sullen face, was not a feeling I wanted to experience. But now the tears flow a little less frequent, the sobs have simmered to a whimpering, and there is a glimmer of possibility in the future. Possibility that you can move forward...not move on but always forward.

I know the next few weeks will be hard, hard to wake up in the morning, hard to breathe, and most of all hard to live. But everytime you remind yourself to wake up, to take a breath, to live....it will get easier. So the next time you find yourself lying in bed, not breathing, remember just a little time...There is nothing that I can say that will end the pain you feel, but look around, and you will realize that there have been many wonderful people in and out of your life. They have made a mark, made you the person you are today, and you will understand that the void you feel in your heart will be filled with all the good memories that you had thought you had forgotten. Be strong, it is okay to take time for yourself, even the oak tree sways with the wind.

Rest in Peace
06-26-06

Hell has frozen over.....

2005-06-21T20:30:00.000-05:00

Two weeks...yup I put them in on Monday. The plan is to stick around for about a week, and then hopefully, my favorite manager Leah will not schedule me for the last week. *wink wink* So anyway things there are weird, let me give you a run down of my life at Chilis....I started almost three years ago, I applied because I knew one of the managers from a previous job and knew she would hire me. The money was good at first, then it slowed down but I stuck with it because the people were awesome, then a few of the people left, and more and more disappeared, and at this moment I could probably not name any of them but at the time they were friends. Now the money is short and I hate going to work, because I have no responsibilities and no friends other then the management, which is ran by a bunch of tards that believe servers and managers should not be friends, even if they are the same age....I can understand. So my tenure at Chilis is over, well at Oakview it is, I am officially transferring and then from there I need to find a real job, or possibly some school that will take my sorry ass. So I know that I have neglected the blog the last few weeks, but I have been stressed, and strangly enough since Monday I have had this release of tension in shoulders, go imagine! So for right now I need to catch up on e-mail and shit then I will catch up on calls!

Friends?....Hell I got plenty....Oh wait, are we still talking about friends?

2005-06-16T15:13:00.000-05:00

So to answer your question Dan, I have plenty, but I am sure that after many days of reading the same entry, one gets tires, it is amazing that that you guys still come back. Well we have a show this weekend, yup on Saturday, at 9pm at Flixx...hint hint hint for those of you in town... Other than that all is well on the home front, we have two new performers.............H-O-T, HOT! Yeah I said it.......HOTTTTTT! So you people should definitely be there.

Well work still sucks I wasn't too happy about the Michaels deal, so I might just actually have to put the nose to the grindstone and find a real job. Chilis still kind of blows, I like the people but there are no customers....the only days this week that I needed to leave because of an appointment we were busier than Hell, I could have made bank! Oh well, it might be a sign....I am officially transferring to Crossroads, there will be other things to deal with...Canadians....but maybe it will relieve some of this stress that has nestled itself a little den into the back of my head and upper shoulders. So I am off, to get some misc. crap done, it is amazing how many errands I have....I am 25, I should not be running errands!

I can't get a word in edge wise!

2005-06-08T14:45:00.000-05:00

So I want to take a moment to thank my two biggest fans, the time and effort you spent on fighting over me....thank you! But if I ever hear those words only in joking...."Who is Terri?" heads will roll, do you understand me? I am your sun, moon, stars and universe....know that!

Lavender....

2005-06-08T11:11:00.000-05:00

Everyone needs something, something or someone to occupy their time...the time between work, school and sleep. Most people, whether they admit it or not, have some"thing". For me it is the Kingsmen, for another friend it is a self proclaimed need to be the voice of Omaha. Last night it was determined that Omaha needs a voice, not from the chamber of commerce, or the city council, or the mayor....not even from the people (because if you have ever been a minority you know that the people cannot be trusted)...but from us. Us being all of the people that have something to say about this little town we call the Big O! So here's to you Joshy, Good luck and keep the truth in everything you do...it will always speak to the people.

Very Disappointed....

2005-06-01T14:49:00.000-05:00

So in my fury of gay bashing the other day, there were no comments, how very sad...I would have thought more of you had some sort of inspirational words to say! Oh well you can't fight with your audience, they pay the bills!

On to new and exciting stuff, my sister's computer has a virus, whoo-peee, so I am here at home trying to rid the evil black box of evil pink eye causing viruses...would that be virii? The multiple of virus, what is it?....I am drawing a blank. Oh well anywho things are slow here on the ranch, (and by that I don't necessarily mean that I live on a ranch but rather it is a ....nevermind, see this is why I need to talk about queer bashing or trips I have taken because this shit here doesn't cut it!)

Work, ahh I hate that place! It sucks so I am putting this out into the great expanses of the internet...I need a JOB! Yes a J-O-B job! Know of anyone that is hiring? I have a degree, I am a genius, and I am good with people, unless they are old or young, or middle age for that matter, actually I hate men and women, basically I hate people so maybe customer service is not for me! *WINK-WINK* Just kidding, (about the hating of women). No really I am very good with people, or at least I am good at faking it, as I know most of you have done in the past....with one thing or another. I am definitely willing to relocate, the west coast is a plus, maybe Chicago or down south. Any takers out there? Any ideas? Shoot them my way! Oh well I should get back to virus hunting! Wish me God's speed!

Among all the realization....and all I am left with is this blog.

2005-05-30T23:24:00.000-05:00

Oh man, what a whirl wind, the last few weeks have been crazy, and as I sat here tonight on Memorial Day, catching up in the entire month of May on the Wear Family blog site, some thing hit me. Hit me like your mother does when you are sitting in the farthest seat in the back of the minivan, but somehow she still manages to reach back and smack your face for dropping the f-bomb....Kiki, Frank, Little man...geez what can I say but I am sorry...sorry for the times you (we) needed to talk but I could not, sorry for the fact that I have put so much stuff in front of phone calls and time together...I miss all of you and as I read the blog and could hear the desperation in your "voice" grow, worries about moving, about money, about Chance...it dropped me like a hot skillet. Tuesday nights, I still can close my eyes and see "Rocky Mountain Picture Show", taste the pizza and feel the hot glue gun as it stuck to the bridal bouquet. Life should be simple, it should be easy, and sometimes we don't always see that. Sometimes our vision is clouded by the fog we call "here and now".

So here's to you, my friends and confidants, (and to make Dan happy) Always try to be Dan, Dan is a way of life, and if Dan were not Dan then Dan might be a Dan shame....Love you guys, all of you that read this on a regular basis, even when I am not here to post on a regular basis. Stay strong, fight the fight and may the Dan be with you! Frank, Kiki....most of all...Drive on, we will prevail............................

From UT at Austin to Virginia Univ. and from Ft Bragg to Ft Lewis

2005-05-30T23:18:00.000-05:00

Not quite sure why I am in the ranting mood, maybe because I am white trash with pink eye, or maybe because when you are in the thick of it all you can actually sit back and take it all in...and then realize all the living you have lived (and missed) is all in the realm of the same instance.

Yesterday, I attended Nebraska Pride Idol, it is the gay counterpart to American Idol. My friend Josh was a finalist, one of the top ten of the entire few month competition. He was apart of that, he gets to record a song on a Nebraska Pride Idol CD...my friend Josh has a CD, he amazes me sometime! We were there to support him and in turn support Camp Kindle, which is a summer camp for kids that are infected with, or affected by AIDS. (You know. for once being coined the gay cancer, sent forth by God to rid the world of the evil agenda of "the gays", there was not much respect in that room last night.) Misty Stokes, NPI 2004, stood there in a room of roughly 120 people talking about Camp Kindle and why it was such a good cause, while they blatantly disregarded her. The people were loud and obnoxious, while she stood there and tried not to tear up....I turned around and told a couple to shut the hell up and respect the speaker...I was bombarded with, "shut up you fat bitch, we paid our money too..." what the fuck?

People in Omaha want to know why there is not a gay community, why we have no headliners that give a damn about po-dunk shitty ass Omaha...you wanna know why? Because we are hillbilly fags! I hate that word and although it turns my stomach to use it, I hate to admit it that this gay community are a bunch of whiney babies that don't deserve shit. You want rights and the ability to live your life freely, in any way that you seem fit, fuck that! The queers and dykes of Omaha take heed, if you don't change your rude, wannabe, attitudes this city will never change. We need to take the first step, life is not about getting what you want, it is about the push and pull of the life circle, one thing is for sure...death. No one can beat it, no one can change it, until we as a community come together and support each other, this circle is at a standstill. I hate to break it to you, this thing we call life is not for our own salvation, it is for the generations beyond us, our children, grand-children, for our brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, all those that will occupy this world after we are gone. I do not fight for my gay rights, I fight for the sons and daughters that will need those rights in the future.

So to the nice homosexual man that told me to, "fuck off, and to fuck my mom and my dad..." this one is for you...in no way shape or form would I ever see you as a homosexual, you are not worthy of the title of "gay man" you are a catty pansy that will never create a change of good for others, and will always be wondering about what you deserve...well your answer is nothing! You do not deserve friendship, acknowledgement or the right to be gay. We do not want you part of our culture and I was embarrassed that you were apart of that crowd last night.

Is pink eye considered an eye STD?

2005-05-29T11:14:00.000-05:00

so yeah about that...I am off to the doctor to get some meds for my eye irritation, which I am hoping is only an eye infection as opposed to the well known pink eye. However they could be the something... I don't know. I will keep you posted!

The funny thing about faith...and changes

2005-05-22T13:23:00.000-05:00

So I need to apologize first and foremost to my fans out there, sorry for the pathetic showing of posting lately, not being at school and not having a 'puter at home is hard. So many things have ran through my mind the last couple of days, stuff about what I should post, about school, about life, and mainly about drag. These last few weeks I have been super busy, putting a few shows together, they were, by no means the most fabulous thing we have done, but let me tell you that they were good. We have somehow managed to gain groupies, and while yes it is exciting to be able to sign thirty pair of breasts in a night, it leaves one with a somewhat eerie feeling of stardom. I am from Omaha Nebraska, po-dunk USA, why and how did I get the chance to be apart of this group? It blows my mind, people come out to see us, to yell our names, to give us money, they come to be entertained by us. I am sitting here and the more I ramble the more I am amazed that I am lucky enough to have found this new extra curricular activity and group of friends.

By the way check out the HOT apparel on the right!

If ya'll don't like me...blow me!

2005-05-17T17:31:00.000-05:00

yeah so I am just friggen stressed and pissed off, sorry there have not been any posts, I thought after school, I would be somewhat free....yeah you can stick that up your ass! Oh well maybe I will be able to get into a schedule soon and be able to read and post more!

Maybe I should run for the 2016 Presidential Election

2005-05-08T16:22:00.000-05:00

So it occurred to me today that I, apparently under some grace of God, have some major effects on people, and not to bore those of you that I have already told the story, I will keep it brief here. I have been recognized by seven people in the last five days, and these people are from the past. One was a guy, that I used to play ball with his best friend, one of the others was a gentleman that works at an establishment that I frequent, and still another was an ex's co-worker. I am not sure why I have had an effect on these people or why they remember me, but kudos to you folks because obviously I have made an impact on your life, and you were only too lucky to know me! So here is to you kids! By the way Happy Mother's Day to those of you with kids, and to those of you who want kids...go to a Chucky Cheese for an afternoon, that is the best form of birth control!

I'm going to HELL!

2005-05-06T14:31:00.000-05:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Spanish...Mexican...ain't it the same thing?!

2005-05-06T13:38:00.000-05:00

So here is a general question for all you kids out there, why do fat people wear tight clothes? I mean seriously, I know I am a bit of a fat ass but do you see me skipping around in a sausage fitting shirt? (Well to be honest you don't really see me skipping all that much either!) But, No! The answer is NO! Why? You may ask, or as I am hoping most of you out there think the same thing I do, because I am not skinny, therefore I do not expect to be able to wear skinny clothes! This girl came in my section the other day, sat down, huge everything all over the place, she went to reach for her "Diet Coke" and I had to take cover because the reverberations from her arm fat came washing toward me like a 20 foot wave! Do you wanna know what she was wearing?!....Hold on give me a minute I just threw up a little bit thinking about it...oh man it was horrible, a little mid-riff shirt with little booty shorts, it was like watching Fat Albert trying to squeeze into one of Britney Spears' outfits! Seriously do they think that they are hot? Do they think that because they are fat they have all the fashion sense of skinny people...here is a hint, wear something that is your size! I may wear shit that is too big, but hell, at least my ta's and as' aren't hanging out!

Circus Jeux

2005-05-06T13:37:00.000-05:00

So this is to you Christine for sending me flowers in my time of need, you always know how yo make me feel like a woman!

Thought for the day

2005-05-05T17:06:00.000-05:00

A good friend will bail you out of jail, but your best friend will be sitting next you in jail saying, "That was fucking awesome!"

So apparently....

2005-05-05T13:15:00.000-05:00

Nothing new, class tonight for the last time this semester...having lunch with a few friends today...baked penne, yummm I can smell it, who is jealous? Anywho I will post more tomorrow, it will be a day of partying and celebrating but I suppose I can find a few minutes to indulge for my faithful readers!

To my one true love

2005-05-03T11:43:00.000-05:00

Yeah that's you, you know who you are...um I tried to call like three or four times this last week and weekend, where the hell have you been? I know it ain't studying so...by the way I am hot!

Oh man so close...

2005-05-03T11:35:00.000-05:00

Yeah so the first final is over, did not do as well as I wanted, but that is my own fault, I will be posting more later, after my meeting. Plus we got the posters back for our next Kingsmen performances, man I look hot, I will hopefully be posting a copy soon!

I wish someone would shoot me in the face

2005-04-28T08:52:00.000-05:00

Well it is that time of year again, where the smart kids are reveling in their A's and the dumb kids are wishing they had dropped that differential equations class, and I am here trying to finish the numerous papers, projects and studying I need to have done for my five classes. I really do think that at the beginning of the year all the teachers get together and say, "okay I have this kid, her name is Terri...let's make her life a living hell the end of the semester..." so there you have it, I will not be posting over the next day or so, lots of stuff to do still! Wish me luck and keep trucking on! p.s. as far as chi-town goes, I will send an e-mail after classes are over. To all the kids..."They call me cocky, and I say, 'What? Its only bragging mother fucker if you can't back it up!'" Name that song and you will get a surprise!

This One Time at Band Camp

2005-04-26T20:11:00.000-05:00

So that reminds me, this one time I was driving and I came upon a corner a little too fast, the light had just turned red, so I figured that I could slip right through...out of the corner of my eye I see this man walking into the intersection, so what's running through my head, "oh shit I am gonna hit this dude!" Being that it was too late to stop all I could do was hope to God that the man saw me and didn't step into the intersection...wait for it....wait for it....whew! He stopped just in time, so then that moment of panic turns into rage, and I yell out, "what the hell are you blind?!" As I turn my head and inspect my rear view mirror for a reaction, I see a white cane...Yup stuck my ass in the air for that one and got a boot shoved right up there!

Was I really that Immature in High School?

2005-04-26T15:32:00.000-05:00

Okay so this is for all of my friends out there, and for a few of you regulars (I know you read this and never say anything, its like sneaking into a movie premier and not being able to talk about it...I know it is killing you, just say one little thing, maybe you like my counter, I know you want to, I can see it in your eyes, c'mon I know that you come here daily if not more, I can count my statistic hits from my com. loc. I am no dummy, you think I don't notice your hometown there, staring me in the face? Oh man I wonder who that is? Just think about that next time you decide to slide on through!)

So the point of this post, I have a huge headache...you wanna know why? Well I have just spent the last 15 minutes jumping from blog to blog off Rubria's site. Wow, is all I can say...can we be anymore immature? So here is the jist of the story, something about how this girl broke up with this dude and then he still loves her, and how his friends think he sucks but then one of this friends called the other friend a faggot (which is a word we never use in this blog, but for the entire effect of the situation we shall make an exception) so the guy who was called a faggot is then prompted to start his own blog, bad mouthing the guy who called him a faggot, which is then retaliated by the guy who still loves the girl and his friends....Did you get all of that? Yeah about that, lets just say that if I was in that group of people I would have killed them all by now.

Why can't people just leave well enough alone, not everything in this world affects every single person, for example my friend breaks up with another friend, do I jump in an take sides? No it does not affect me, when it does start to affect me then I stop and say, "you guys suck you broke up get over it I don't want to hear your shit..." Then they reply with, "wow you are right! Why were we so stupid, immature and moronic?" See I could totally be a diplomat, I would just need to become the almighty and omnipotent leader for 100 years to change the course of the path that this world is heading. Anyway the sites were stupid and they irritated me, so I vented, what a waste of time and space, no wonder the upcoming generation is so damn fucked up!?! Man I thought my generation was a bunch of douche-bags! So there you have it! The inside on a bunch of underage morons, maybe I should turn them in for underage drinking, then maybe, just maybe there would not be so much trash on the internet.

Well you all, I have a list of 15 things to finish for the week and I am on 4 so I am out...to study!

Excuse me ma'am what where you doing at approximately 4:30 this afternoon?

2005-04-25T19:46:00.000-05:00

"Well you won't believe this, but I was actually stalking a psycho, south-Omaha, possible lesbian"...okay all you kids out there before you get all worried and start dialing the ACLU about some 25 year old stalker that goes out and harasses south Omaha lesies, hear my side of the story...now untwist your grammy panties and listen to my tale of wonder and excitement.

So there I was with my friend Paul, driving in south Omaha, now many of you are probably wondering why I was in south O, being that I am a north O kid by heart...mom don't worry I stopped the bangin' in high school. So there we were driving down Vinton street...oh yeah why I was down there...well I was taking Paul back to his house. What you thought that was the cool part of the story, oh hell I can only be interesting about 98% of the time and that line there just happened to be my 2% for the day!

So as we are passing this girl standing on the side of the street, Paul looks over to me and says, "you know I always wanted to ask you if that girl was a lesbian?" "huh?!" "That girl back there, the one we just passed, I was wondering if you ever saw her at 'the bar', cuz she used to come into Blockbuster all the time..." So I do want to give a shout out to Paul, my favorite lip pierced non-non-homosexual I love you, but...when did I become the authority on lesbians from Omaha? I mean c'mon I always brag that I can spot them a mile away, but hell, we were doing thirty and you expect me to be able to swivel my head and catch a glimpse as we are speeding around the corner...and maybe by the glory of the god I might happen to catch just a glimpse of her pant leg, in all my infinite wisdom, I shall bow my head, unleash the fury within and a thundering voice shall pour forth from my body and name the question-ed one...(imagine thunder and lightening, lots of wind and scary stuff like that) "Thou art a l-e-s-b-o!"

So after hearing such a stupid comment come out of my friend's mouth I did the only logical thing I could think of...........................................came to a screeching halt in the middle of Vinton street and flipped a bitch. Yeah I said it! I turned around right then and there, man I wanted to see this lesbian! So we do a return fly-by, and of course, after so much talk, we drove by I and thought, "oh man was that so and so?" well I should have thought about that before I said it, because apparently "so and so" lives in Millard and if I had really thought about what I had just let slip from my lips I would have realized that white lesbian millardians DO NOT walk around 19 and Vinton...my mistake.

So of course, just in case I was wrong, we turned around again, baby I was like Kojak on the case, and not that wimpy ass Kojak from the 70's or 80's or whenever it was, the big badass buff Vinton Rheams or whatever his name is...you know the Kojak from TBS that could kick the California Govenor's ass! "I'll be back" okay so what was I saying, oh yeah so we flip another bitch, thinking that we could "sneak up" the lesbian from Millard. We came around the corner and the girl gave us the slip! Man oh man we were slowing down, looking down streets, behind dumpsters thinking maybe her red sweatshirt would give her away, but to my avail no such luck. So to the red sweatshirted, possibly psycho, millardian lesbian that I saw on Vinton today...................... touche my friend touche!

So if the cops ask, you now know where I was today at approximately 4:30 this afternoon...

Do you know what I hate?...

2005-04-20T20:08:00.000-05:00

I hate technology, I think it has lots to do with the declining state that this world is in...why can't I get my music to play? How come this damn thing takes so long? What the hell is Morpheus?! I mean I know there are people out there that know a whole heck of a lot less than I do, how do they manage? So here I am on the eve of Dead Week, trying to complete papers and projects galore, and I am here stuck at the folks' place trying to fix the 'ole CPU...did I mention I hate technology. I could be out now, doing PR for the Kingsmen, having a brew or two but NOOOOO! I am here writing papers and downloading software for the friggen e-mail account that won't work because someone cannot remember their password! Oh man to be me...well it's not that bad I suppose, I could be at work...so that is my rant for the time being I may not have time until tomorrow to post again. C'est la vie, or however you spell that?.... (A few notes* pops I am not mad about the e-mail thing, its just frustrating, I did jimmy rig it so you can get your messages...I am not that dumb, I do know what Morpheus is and I have a sneaking feeling that when my uncle was futzing with it this last week he "knocked" the audio card...so there take all those comments that you were gonna send explaining that to me and shove them! Love to you guys! ;) wish me luck this next week!) Did I mention I hate technology?..............................

Making a Correction

2005-04-19T20:19:00.000-05:00

So I was so feverishly corrected today by my mother, glad to see you have hopped on that technology train...no really I am so friggen happy!... ;) Don't let the spyware slap you in the ass on the way out! So here are the corrections...trolls living in caves, sorry I missed that one, I guess I was sick during that day at preschool. And the other thing, my mother helped carry a big heavy desk...up stairs I am presuming, because if it wasn't up the stairs than you have nothing to bitch and moan about! Just kidding, thanks for the comment mom!

I love spring, I was reading my Pale Rider friend's blog, and as many of you might be thinking, as I know I was, no Pale Rider is not a sexually charged username...um at least I don't think it is....and if it is I do not want to know about it...(Seriously, I never want to know that......... allevatori!) So for my Italian friends I hope that translates! It has been raining the last couple of days, its been nice, it washes all of the "icky-ness" of winter away. Spring always smells so nice, almost like freshly washed clothes, unless you are poor and cannot afford the dryer sheets that make the clothes smell so nice...then spring smells like it just rained a whole bunch.

Last night we went to Petrow's, eehhh it was okay, let's just say hopefully that will be the last time I have have hot beef...Kiki I know you are laughing! I don't know why I am rambling, found out that Frank, my pal, is going to Liege for "work". I miss Europe a whole bunch...have not yet decided if it is because I need a change of scenery or if it is because I had such a good time. Classes will soon be over and I have not yet signed up for next semester...I have no drive to be here in the O.N.E. still waiting on UT Austin, and a reply from my soldier...kind of worried about him, I think it has been a week or so...I hope all is okay, keep him in your thoughts.

Oh last night, it was storming, and while I should have stayed in and done homework I went for dinner with some friends, Joshy, who if he would get off of his lazy ass and post sometime, you can reach his live journal from this page here...and Shasta, who is hot as all get out! (Had to put that one in!) And for those of you who want to know where she got her name, that my needy little friends is for another day. So here we are having dinner, thank goodness we made it to the early bird special...at 6:00 or so, three and a half hours later there we are meandering out of the restaurant...being in the service industry I know exactly how those servers felt, "Did you see those douche bags at table 14? They have been sitting here for almost three hours, are they gonna stay the whole damn night? Well, yeah they have paid, but I need to clean that table..." Yeah I can hear it now. Well it made me laugh, because all you people out there...this is my two-fingered salute!

As far as Saturday goes, my Pale Rider buddy and his wife, I am glad that we happened to meet up, it has been such a long time since we last hung, it was nice to catch up. As far as my "Swedish Beer Serving Wench" I am glad you approve, usually I do like the "beefy-ier model" but even a truck man likes a sleek Shelby Cobra, if you know what I mean. Thanks, by the way, for the "advice" on Saturday, I have that meeting today, I am sure you will hear all about it. Other than that I should be off to study (what I don't know but the latest issue of Maxim arrived the other day maybe that will occupy my time)...so to all you suckas out there... Peace!

The Four Things my Mommy Told Me....

2005-04-19T14:39:00.000-05:00

So went over to the folks' place on Sunday, of course you would think at the tender age of 25 that I would be able to get a long with my dad...yeah about that!?! We moved my sister's crap, er I mean possessions into the basement. Apparently her coming back from college means we have to "re-move" everything that my parents just found a place for, from when she moved out to go to college. Steph I love you but next time you have to at least come back and be there. When I was young, my dad and I got along great, maybe it was my tom-boyish attitude, or the fact that mom worked lots and went to school, but we were cool together. Then as he says, "at the age of thirteen you changed..." um well maybe, but I think he had a lot to do with that too.

My parents always taught me that I needed to be myself, that just because I was a girl there was nothing that I could not do. So at the young age of thirteen I rebelled, not like most kids with black hair or the loud music that the parents hate, I mostly just fought with my parental units, man I let them know exactly what I felt when I felt it. Normal, I know most of you are thinking to yourselves, but then cut to the age of 18 when I left for college. Dad and I started to "communicate" as he puts it (I still hate that word by the way) we could hang out and do projects around the house, I was still really into the manual work, I felt a sense of accomplishment by mowing the yard or building whatever it was I felt the need to build...You know I thought maybe I had grown up, then I watched my sister go through the same thing, but knowing that my sister and I have two completely different personalities (I always told her that she was the adopted one...I think now it is the other way around!) I worried about her and my dad...cut to this weekend...

So there we are moving the furniture for my sister, my dad and I, oh and a big shout out to my mom who managed to finish the four dishes in the sink and vacuum...thanks ma, where were you on that one! So here we are yelling at eachother because my pops is a planner, always moving this out of the way, or re-arranging the way we were to carry an extremely heavy waterbed down the two stories of their house...me I am a wham bam thank you ma'am lets get this shit done, cause I have stuff to do type of gal. Granted planning is good, but time management is better, or so I thought...so here is my epiphany for the weekend...all of us...we are the same person...then I started thinking, you can say that about almost everyone of this small planet we call earth.

Think about it, we all want the good life; a happy family, a safe home, a good job (one where we don't have to work 60 hours a week in order to not see our happy family or safe home). The reason why we, my dad and I, argue is because we are so the same person. Someone would say that if we are so similar, then why do we argue? Well because while we want the same stuff in life, we might have a slightly different style of getting there. So here I am thinking, you know, maybe my dad was right, if I had moved the floor length mirror from my sister's room maybe I wouldn't have knocked it over and shattered the damn thing...just kidding Steph. No but seriously, I know this seems elementary, but if I (1) just took some time to look at other's style (2) maybe there wouldn't be so much yelling (3) ...

So that's my blog entry for the day, sorry it wasn't exciting like about my wild crazy sex that I had last night during the thunderstorm....

(1) By "I", I mean you and everyone, including the presidents and monarchs and kings and clerics and priests and everyone who has any sort of contact with anyone, so unless you are a troll living in a cave in Brazil, where you live completely off of the guava tree outside your dwelling, and all other supplies and nutrients are supplied by a force other than man (or other trolls) then this means you!
(2) By other's style, I mean look at people and how they react before you jump off of the deep end. Don't assume you are right because you are older, or have the doctorates, or because of your race or religious affiliation. God doesn't make that distinction, so why should anyone else? Listen to your fellow man (or woman) don't succumb to this submersive bullshit, where if you keep quiet then there will be less fighting...speak your mind whatever it might be, it is your right!
(3) By yelling, I mean war and hatred and just everything bad...

So there you have it the ranting of a 25 year old student that is pissed off about the way this world it turning out. My dad and I are fine, we calm down and all is well, no hard feelings. But for those of you out there that have nothing to say to your family or your parents...man what is wrong with you?! I mean your family should be the people that you will always know will be there for you no matter how much you mess up...mine was.

So talk! People, speak you minds, because if you don't...if you just keep silent, there might be a time in the future when you don't have the right to speak and you will be wishing and hoping for this time to be the present. Don't take for granted what you are given, because life as you know it will be upon a change...and you might not like it!

Mom, thanks for reading the blog, I hope you enjoy it and I hope that I don't embarrass you too much! Dad, I used you as an example (it's always easier to ask for forgiveness than it is for permission), I hope one day that understanding of this new fangled inter-net thingy snaps in your mind and it is all so very clear...good luck with the e-mail! Steph, I hope you enjoy the basement, I smashed my finger between your bed and the wall, I think you owe me a big thank you...or a beer will suffice!

Slap in the face...

2005-04-14T20:31:00.000-05:00

Have you ever done something that was not quite up to par...and then later wondered why it all went bad for you? I was in Italian class, and I can admit it, on the last test I received a grade of 56% yeah I am woman enough to admit when I mess up! So here I am wondering if I can still pull an A...I talk to my professoressa (yeah see that's italian) and here she is telling me how to pass this class, "you need to make flash cards, maybe study the old tests, correct your wrong answers..."I get defensive, as we all would or do, and then I get frustrated. "Why can't this stuff just come to me like it does everyone else" And then I hear those booming words from heaven...
"Hey dipshit, wake up! Are you kidding me, you think that everyone in this class just automatically knew how to speak italian?! One day they just became fluent? Don't give me that crap about being too old, all minds should be exercised, no matter the age!..." Then I realize, that those booming words came from me...

Why do we do that, when did we as a society become so self-absorbed that unable to admit our own guiltiness? You see it everyday, people on trial, pleaing to lessen their sentence..."yeah I did it but just so you guys don't have to go through all the work of figuring it out, give me a lesser sentence" Are you kidding me?! When did this happen, what life changing event occurred that made people decide that they were not responsible for their actions. I hear the question almost daily, "what happened to this society, when did it all go down hill?" You wanna know the answer? The answer is that first time when a parent let their kid off of the hook for something they did, it taught the kid that they, among others, had no responsibility for their actions, it was the McDonalds court case when that crazy person spilled the coffee and then sued Mc-D's! Are you crazy? How did we get to be society of spineless pansies? When you look at yourself, can you say that you would gladly choose death over a life sentence in jail for a crime that you committed? Do you remember Socrates?....Do you know who Socrates was? The Greek philosopher that chose execution because his society had found him guilty of corrupting the young minds of Athens. They told him to leave the city and he could gladly live out the remainder of his life elsewhere...he stayed, he drank his hemlock and died...

All of you, my friends, relatives, and some of you unknowns, read this be aware, take a stance..."If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything..." heed these few words that I am giving you and learn them, live them, make them part of who you are, because without the ability, to take responsibility, we are doomed to a life of fruitless endeavors. Take this to heart, teach your kids, your friends.... If you can't say something to someone's face then don't say it at all, if you need to say something, however hurtful it might be, you better be able to say it to that person. If you mess up, apologize, you might not have been at fault this time, but then next time when you make a mistake, and it is your fault, it will make it easier to apologize. Life is hard, sometimes you get hurt, physically, mentally, emotionally...don't lay down and take it! Get back up and move forward! To stand still is to lose momentum...which eventually brings you to a halt...to come to a halt in life means death. Be responsible, please because before you know it the world as we know it will cease to exist.

The next generation needs something to learn from, I may not always have the answers, and I may not always know in which direction I am heading, but by the time I get there I will know that I did it on my own competence...

So here I am on my way to study my ass off, I will pass this class, it might not be with an A but at least I know that I will deserve what I earn!

I am the smartest woman alive!

2005-04-14T14:56:00.000-05:00

Like you kids didn't already know that!...Well the day has been a bust so far, nothing accomplished, well except lunch with pops (thanks for the sustenance) oh yeah and I wrote HTML for a counter...Okay well I didn't write it, but I sure as hell did modify it so the damn thing did have a big friggen' coupon attached. Hows that for MENSA material....Thanks to lady Schaefer for the input... and by the way for all you fans out there, when you leave a comment identify yourself, Wear family I know, its easy, but as far as those of you who do not have a blogger site or choose to rely on the fact that I know who everyone is...Cmon, I know I am the shiz-nit, but I am stressed, finals are coming down the road faster than we know! Please id yourself, even if it is, "hey Terri remember when we made out on your sister's bed?! You blog site is the coolest..." see stuff like that I remember. By the way sorry Steph! Also for those of you who think you are slick and not commenting, please drop a line or two, pass this site on to your friends, hell I am having a blast doing this, I would think that people are enjoying it! Okay I need to study but hopefully it will only take a few minutes!

To my Pale Rider Friend....

2005-04-14T08:57:00.000-05:00

So apparently when you go out of town and you come back and need to catch up on work, school and family life, people get all pissed off at you because you haven't written in your blog lately....so here's to you my pale friend...it would be nice if I knew who you were?!...

Chicago...oh the good times we had...let me start off by saying that not all of my trips are like those adventures in Belgium, but this one did have its ups....so we flew into chi-town Thursday afternoon, let me tell you the flight was the longest I have ever had. Over an hour, hell I could have driven in...okay okay okay so I lie, but it really was the longest flight I have ever taken to Chicago. So we fly into Midway, which wasn't too bad for a virgin experience. The first big cluster f@ck was trying to get a CTA (for those of you have never been: CTA Chicago Transit Authority...bus system and "El" trains) so we were supposed to be able to buy a visitor pass at the airport...yeah not so much in fact the machine, "had just broken down 'bout 15 minutes ago" Sure it did you pompous ass- you just don't want to get up off of your fat arse and sell it to us manually. Now let me preface this statement by sating that I love the city of Chicago, including the people and all it has to offer, however if they hired anymore "inadequate" persons for CTA I would have slit my wrists! So the man sends us on our way and tells us where to buy the ticket. So we are riding the train, god love Phil and Paul...they tried so hard! So there we are at our stop, I jump up and off the train and start heading to the exit stairs...I hear the "bing bong" of the doors closing and turn around to tell them something and...there they go! Off with the train and the rest of the morons onboard. Apparently I forgot to tie them together and then leash them to my belt. So as I am watching them driving away I see this look of horror on Phil's face. He won't admit it, but you know I think I saw a tear! Oh man, so they call me, I almost ignored the phone call to just to make them suffer, you know when a dog pees on the carpet you scold them and push their nose in it...well boys that was your piss! So we hook back up, thank god the people of Chicago are lazy and the next stop was two blocks away!

Cut to us checking into the hotel room, I will hit the highlights and leave the boring shit out, so we get to the seventh floor, knowing that we did not spend a lot on the room, but you know we are about three blocks from the sears tower how bad could it be....jump ahead to me laughing hysterically on the bed that takes up about 50% of the room. People I am not kidding, the room was the size of...well it was roughly 100 sq. ft. you know about 10 ft. by 10 ft. The "queen beds" um yeah about that...let's try maybe a twin with a few extra inches. So here we are, if you know Phil, Paul, and I you know we are not small kids...and if you don't know us, then why the hell are you reading this?! So there we are three fat kids in a little room sitting there trying to decide what to do first....yup you guessed it, we went to eat! Let me say that I have now found a new favorite pizza place downtown-Exchequer! The appetizers leave a little to be desired, but the pizza was awesome, with a capital "A"! So after that the insulin production started and I really don't remember what happened next, maybe we walked around...made plans for the next day.

Friday, wake up...nix that I woke the guys up, well sort of, because I knew they would be a bear in the morning, I left the curtains open, so about 7:30-8:00 the angels sang, and the sun shone forth and woke their asses up! Suckas! So we get moving and head to Wrigleyville, its opening day and we are gonna try to check out a game...supposedly it has been sold out for some time, I mean cmon it is opening day! Yeah not so much we get tickets for a reasonable price...right behind home plate, oh did I say home plate I meant HOME PLATE! Yeah there we were sitting there a great view of the field, neither of the guys had been to a MLB game, and it had been about 10 years since I went last. Oh did I forget to mention that we were in the 35 row, right behind a pillar, but other than that man it was awesome. We drank, rather we coveted, our $6.00 budweisers, watched some of the game, and checked out the stadium. Totally was a tourist, ora cheap grandma, and stole people's empty cups, yes we now have a set of 35...okay okay okay it wasn't that bad, maybe only 10. So we did the game, went across the street to the Cubby hole and paid an outrageous amount for beer, decided that we saw a quaint little place on the walk to the stadium that we would try...Trader Todd's if you haven't been, you should! Okay so this guys next to me was totally reading over my shoulder...punk! Anywho, Trader Todd's its this little bar, off of Belmont and Ashland...totally kosher! After a few rounds we headed home, and at this point I want to sat a great big Thank You to the CTA for always being there in my drunken times of need! I'll see you in August! We headed back and had some kick ass Presidentes Margaritas, what can I say I can't be away from Chili's for that long!

We met up with the guys' mom that night, she was in town for a conference, at this point I need to send a big shout-out to momma Smith, who fed me twice and went above and beyond her call of duty. Thanks for the good times and great food!

So dinner that night was Bubba Gump's place, you know nice atmosphere, but I really wouldn't recommend the place. Next day, Saturday, went to Michigan Ave., hung out walked around, oh yeah and, I love Paul, but he wanted to do this video game exhibition thing, I love Paul, where you go and see the history of video games, I love Paul, where he spent almost three hours looking around...Paul I love you, but next time leave me with the margaritas!

That night Dick's Last Resort, man if you get the chance I also totally recommend this place. You need to go! Spent the night throwing crap, being hit in the head with paper and drinking 40's (okay well they were actually 32's but who's counting). This was our drunken escapade of the trip which luckily to Paul, he doesn't remember much of horse face....let's just say I need to lose my tolerance...damn that beotch was ugly. Hey man more power to you! So we made it home okay, just barely. Made some drunken phone calls, and by the way if I didn't call you when I was drunk then I really don't like you....ha ha ha.... just kidding....or am I?

The next day was filled with a little of Navy Pier, lots of Paul sleeping, and to top it off a call from Sarah. Apparently when "the fellas" go to Chicago, they are supposed to see the sears tower, the field museum, and the rose gardens of Paraguay....dude I think she was lucky that we didn't find a strip bar on our way to the hotel and just eat drink and sleep strippers...so here's to you Sarah, the boys were out to play, not sightsee like a bunch of little grandmas!

We made it home safe, just barely the landing was bad, back and forth up and down...man land the damn thing already! Our stewardess, Teri, she was awesome! Totally hit it off, the people behind us, they were cool except the bitch that wouldn't shut up!

Anyway that was the jist of the rip you need more details just ask! But I should be doing some research, but I hope that ties you over until next time!

One more thing...

2005-04-14T07:53:00.000-05:00

I want to add a counter to my blog site, if any of you have any HTML experience please help! I have the basis of what I want I just need to modify it so the damn thing doen't attach an ad banner... any ideas let me know!

Chi-town here I come!

2005-04-05T19:40:00.000-05:00

Going to my city this week leave in a few days! So excited, gonna write more in a bit I need to study!

My military man!

2005-04-05T14:53:00.000-05:00

Yeah that's right I said it...I have a man! Well okay not exactly a man...he is more like my pen pal, whom Kiki "introduced" us. He is really cool, we have a similar sense of humor, he cracks me up. He is somewhere, doing something, with someone, until sometime, for some reason...that is all he can tell me! It makes me laugh, all the secrets, granted it is for his (and our) protection, but I just wanted to say that regardless of whether you agree with the war (GWOT-go me!), the president, or anything else that is happening in this country...please please please support the men and women of our military! They are fighting for our rights...and our rights to hate what they are fighting for. Adopt a soldier, man, woman, army, navy, airforce, marines, reserves...any of them. There are men and women that do not get any mail, take some time out of your busy day of paperwork, phone calls and e-mails to drop a few lines a day, let them know that you appreciate what they do. Because face it, if you are reading this chances are you are not in the US military, and if you are it is because you are SO and are not active TDY now (is that right?) (or you are monitoring this website because I have mentioned a few key words that have set off a transcription device!) and if you are not in the military, then you get to take advantage of the rights that those present, past, and future have fought for!

Praise the Good Lord!

2005-03-31T16:36:00.000-06:00

It is official! The clerics have come together to fight a common cause! They are uniting, to bring the many different views on religion into one unstoppable force...they have chosen their enemies methodically, plotting their attack, keeping an Eveready eye on those trying to recruit for the side of Satan! Here is a link to the news story I hope you enjoy!

http://cbsnewyork.com/mideast/mideast_story_090093117.html

Click on the above link and then click on the first news story from the NYT (Clerics Fighting a Gay Festival for Jerusalem). I am having problems linking directly to the NYT page!

This is not homo land, it is the holy land!

2005-03-31T16:29:00.000-06:00

Abdel Aziz Bukhari, a Sufi sheik, added: "We can't permit anybody to come and make the Holy City dirty. This is very ugly and very nasty to have these people come to Jerusalem." God forbid the thousands of years of pain and suffering in the region, caused by religious warfare! You have to keep the Holy City safe from the queers!

"That is something new I've never witnessed before, such an attempt to globalize bigotry," said Hagai El-Ad, the executive director of Jerusalem Open House, a gay and lesbian group that is the host for the festival. "It's quite sad and ironic that these religious figures are coming together around such a negative message." Hey, the homos are just doing their part to continue the push of the religious tradition of hatred...hmmm is that what "their God" teaches?...."I thought love your neighbor"...was kind of a major playing point in the Christian belief!

He said he had first heard about WorldPride from a congregation member who had told Mr. Giovinetti that he was gay for many years and still monitored gay Web sites. Mr. Giovinetti said he alerted Israeli politicians and religious leaders. Yeah um about that...I was black for a time, and then I was a man, oh yeah did I mention that I was club footed, cleft lipped and had horrible sight! And then one day...BAM ! I was cured! whoo thank god because I don't know if I could live with that whole club foot situation! Okay lets think about this, the fool was gay, and then he wasn't...oh but wait he still "monitored gay sites" uh huh! sure you "were gay". This man was, is, and forever will be a raging homosexual, just because he was shamed into hiding and bitter about his life, he felt the need to rat out those who are striving for equality...shame on you...you former gay! I am sure we didn't want you on our team anyway!

Another American who helped bring together the opposition was Rabbi Yehuda Levin, of the Rabbinical Alliance of America, which says it represents more than 1,000 American Orthodox rabbis. At the news conference in Jerusalem, he called the festival "the spiritual rape of the Holy City." He said, "This is not the homo land, this is the Holy Land." Nope the homo-land is a ride at Michael Jackson's Neverland...the spiritual rape huh? That's funny, that sounds a lot like the crusades, or ethnic cleansing, or jihad...maybe the breeders have had enough shots at fucking things up. Maybe if people stop being so damn afraid of anything just a tad bit different from themselves, maybe they could open their eyes and realize that those "homos" that are so different from themselves, want the same stuff in life...A loving home, healthy family and safe world for their next generation to grow up in!

Dan what do you say about heading to Jerusalem and tearing it up?! Sounds like maybe we could get our heads beat in by a few clerics...By the way I have cut out the picture and put it up in my room!

I never thought I would live to see the day...

2005-03-29T14:05:00.000-06:00

Something happened yesterday...which I knew, sometime before I died, I would have the not-so-pleasurable chance to experience. People tell you things, about how they have never done this or done that...and it blew my mind, because I thought that everyone slipped up once in awhile. I don't know I guess deep down I thought that maybe for once I wouldn't have to feel uneasy and disgusted by what happened. I know many of you out there are wondering..."well, what the hell happened?!"...and some of you already know! I don't know a polite way to describe it...it was atrocious, yet hilarious, like I said something that I thought I would learn about, let alone be there to witness it!....

so last night.....

I was walking out of the computer center...(what danni did you think this was gonna be about you?)...and apparently my mo-jo has been off or something, because I went to walk up this incline to a set of about five stairs. Around stair number 2, I caught the tip of my toe, stubbing and losing balance...from here it was such a flurry of events that I am not sure if this is the correct order or not...After the split second it took my toe nerves to register the war of stabbing pain being waged by the concrete stair, I tottered and for that brief moment thought, I had saved myself from complete embarrassment...was I wrong. As my weight shifted once more I tumbled forward reaching for the hand-rail to catch myself, while trying not to slam my left hand, and cell phone, into the waiting concrete wrecking block. At this time, my upper body is about parallel to the waiting stairs...shit!... my knee slams into the corner of the next step...my left hand (and cell phone) scraping across the top of the case, meanwhile the last ditch effort of grabbing for the rail misses, but it didn't miss in a way that I just fell onto my knees and hands....no that would be too simple....I missed, but simultaneously wrapping my right arm around the rail and slamming the inside of my elbow into the cold steel prefabricated column. The right side of my body, now hinged around the hand rail, scrapes my hand and knee across the cement, until I come to rest...I learned about this a long time ago...The law of inertia, a body will stay in motion or rest until it is acted upon by another greater force...well my body swung around that hand rail until my head found a greater force...aka the cement post that held the rail in place. That is right folks I managed to not only hit my left hand and knee but also to scrape them up, while also bruising my right inside elbow, and obtaining a large lump on my forehead! What would be the first thing you would do?...Nope didn't do it! I got up and walked to my car while laughing and continuing my conversation. It wasn't until later and early this morning when I felt the true pain of the fall...it sucks getting old!

So if you ever say that no, something like this has never and will never happen to you...be careful for what you wish for...I got knocked the "shuck" out! (Thank you to the age old classic..."Friday" if you haven't seen it, we may not be able to be friends anymore!)

Wanna know what I just found out?...

2005-03-28T23:16:00.000-06:00

So my lovable friend and co-conspirator Josh, keeps a Live Journal, which I being his "super best friend" (I think he said that for the "photo op") read on a regular basis. So Josh adds these little quizzes, which I like to take. Well in the last three minutes I have discovered that I am 20% pure, only ranking more pure than 4% of other females my age, I am a deviant, I think is what it said. I also took a Greek God test, I am Hercules, which if I remember my Greek mythology correctly, is actually the Roman name for the Greek god Heracles. Besides that point, I do not think that Hercules was a god, I think he was mortal with god like powers, I know he was the son of Zeus and a mortal...did he obtain "Greek God-ness"? I don't know, wish my grandma would read this, she would know! Oh and by the way do you know what Molybdenum is? Apparently I am that element, which is sad because I have never heard of it before today, (and I did take a lot of chemistry courses) but I did find out that molybdenum is "like the miracle worker in the princess bride"...anyway here are some websites check them out and a big thank you to Josh! ]
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=10462132396003208006 This is the Element one

http://quizilla.com/users/truly-dippy/quizzes/%3F%3F%20Which%20Of%20The%20Greek%20Gods%20Are%20You%20%3F%3F This one is for the Greek Gods

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=17359692280546572367 My favorite the sexual purity test...maybe I am a slut?! Oh wait I can't help it if I am hot!

Shout out to the homies...

2005-03-28T21:39:00.000-06:00

Okay so lets start this one out by saying, "Thanks to my readers! If you are commenting keep them coming (even if your wife gets mad! because you don't post on your family blog) if you are not...I will name you if I must...you better get your lazy asses to school or work or off of the couch a little more so you can read and be entertained by this little thing I call life!

Where to start...I wrote something the other day...it was raw and unrefined and quite frankly I don't think the world is ready for it yet. So maybe a few more weeks and there will be gut ripping comments posted...that would just make me smile. Oh things that made me smile today...I had this table today (for those of you who don't know I am a server or waitress or grub slinger, I'm not about being PC...so why should you have to be!) Anyway total &itch (trying to keep it PG for the little ones) just rude and bad attitude, apparently it reflected in myself. Because she called a bit later and said that she had left her day planner there and wondered if anyone had found it. Well I took the usual info, "what color is it?, what was the name in the planner?, where were you sitting?, and who was your server?" and this is what she said to me..."I was sitting on the left side of the restaurant, by the windows, I don't know who our server was, but she was a bigger girl, with a bad attitude, she was just sort of rude..." Hmmm sound familiar to anyone...yup ding ding ding tell her what she has won Johnny! Yeah so the bitch (forget PG) who had this mightier-than-thou attitude has the audacity to say I had a bad attitude!

Let me tell you something folks, when in a restaurant, do not in any way, shape, or form piss off a restaurant worker...especially when she holds the content of your life in a little 6 in. X 6 in. binder of fake leather. If you have never worked in the restaurant business, this coming from a person who has over 5 long years in the service industry...we have unimaginable powers. The "telephone affect" (or is it effect) that goes on with a rude table is unbelievable! Within seconds I will know about the shitty assholes at table 25 when I am on the other side of the restaurant. There are actually websites that allow servers to list bad tippers. I have refused a table because they were jerks the last time they came to the restaurant. Servers make about $2.00 an hour, our jobs are a dime a dozen so if you piss us off bad enough we will retaliate, because we know we can go across the street to Applebees, or Lone Star, or Red Lobster and get a job...it is an endless circle. So think about that the next time you blame the server for the undercooked steak that I am so sure they had a hand in, or you send back your french fries because they have seasoning and you didn't tell us that you didn't want the seasoning. Give us a heads up, tell us what you want in advance so then when you get your food, we don't have to waste three trips to the kitchen trying to get all the extra crap that you "forgot to ask for" We are your servers...not your servants! Treat us with a little respect and realize that that bad attitude that you see on our face might just be a reflection of you!

Because I really have no choice...

2005-03-24T15:01:00.000-06:00

Okay so I was told by a little birdie that I have not mentioned a certain someone in my blog, as if this gets read by hundreds of people...who am I kidding, I am very popular! So here's to you Danielle, "mon petite cochan"! You are the apple of my eye, the laughter of my life, "You make me a better person", I am the luckiest person alive to be able to see your beautiful face everyday, you are my one and only...(is that good enough yet? I'm running out of flattering things to say)...no but for real, here is my shout out!

Frank buddy ole pal ole buddy. Happy belated birthday, I finally got everything unpacked and now I am in the process of re-packing it into a box to send to you. Yes I did get you a birthday present...Am I not just the coolest?! I also just got caught up on my blog reading, so I hope the teeth and the back is doing well.

Things that made me laugh today...

2005-03-23T21:31:00.000-06:00

I am taking a break from my studies...and I had many comments...*Kiki* um let's keep them to a minimum of 6 per day okay? Let me make a few corrections first...Apparently someone has their panties in a bunch because I called it St. Paddy's day...well I am an American and basically because my country rules the world I can call it whatever the hell I want...(but because I want to be a diplomat someday...keyword someday...I shall henceforth dub thee St. Patty's day. Diana, you have gone down in my blog...oh by the way, Patty is a derivative of Patricia, or in my case it is, and that just makes a day of drinking green beer and scratching yourself seem too feminine!)

Kiki~As far as the Atlantic...you can have it, I wouldn't want something that took the titanic...I don't like whores...okay well you got me there! :) Um, it might be bigger but the North Sea could kick the Atlantic's butt! Whoo whoo! Okay so that was totally unproductive, but hey back to studies I go. Keep the comments coming, soon we will get in depth and dirty. So hang on for the ride, I will piss you off soon enough!

Tired of ranting

2005-03-23T20:47:00.000-06:00

Well my trip was a blast, and while I would love to be in Europe, mind, body, and spirit, I am home now. So back to real life I must go, whistling or not, work must be done. Although, I should be doing some catching up on homework and studying for my Italian test, I am here on the web, bitching, moaning, complaining, about how much I don't want to do it. If I only put as much effort into what I need to do, as what I wish I could do. But doesn't everyone?!!

Think about it, would you be reading this if there was something better to do? TV, time with the family, time with friends? No, you would be doing that, because honestly most of you are out there, avoiding homework, your job, your family...your life...to read this. While I appreciate the flattery, I know there is something else that must be done, so here is my vow...This is my website, my blog, my life. It is what I see and how I perceive it (or rather what I think I perceive it as). So I will not waste your time with bullshit, I will not lie to appease the millions (or the three of you that actually read) This is my world welcome to it!

Ah my First Time...Sort of!

2005-03-14T16:09:00.000-06:00

Welcome to my first time...of blogging that is. I just found out recently what a "blog" was and for those of you that are wondering also...*Mom*...here is an explanation. "'Blog' is short for Web log, which can be anything from a news site to an online journal. Blogs allow you to instantly publish your thoughts and ideas from anywhere.

People all over the world have blogs. It's a fun and easy way to keep in touch with your friends, post links to interesting webpages, or just record your thoughts." I will be keeping this because as I have gotten older, and way popular I basically just don't have time to keep in touch... okay, okay, okay I admit it I just want to be cool like everyone else I know! So sit back and enjoy....The World According to T

T Does Europe

2005-03-14T13:55:00.000-06:00

So it is day four on my trip to Belgium to see my friend Dan. And well, I will start at the beginning...I started my "escapade" Wednesday morning at 5:00 I was supposed to be picked up by 7:30 and then off to the airport. We arrived, a little late, mainly because I had a last minute thought on leaving behind my stash of Maxim, but in the end the "educational" books prevailed...unfortunately! So we stopped at this little airport bar called "The Hanger" and had some breakfast, I highly recommend staying away from this place being that it sucked and the waitress was a bitter old, cat loving witch! However, if you were to eat at "The Hanger" I might seriously have to think about our friendship and why it was that you went to eat at a place like that....you might need help! So onward and upward....I went through security after leaving my friends behind, of course it was, "I will miss you Terri, bring me back something cool"...my friends love me :) Oh yeah did I mention that whenever I leave the city of Omaha I am stripped searched, and like any other time, this one was no let down. Yup, down to my undershirt and almost boxers. Opened my bags, I guess they had a hard time deciphering what the 12 cans of Mountain Dew were for. That's right I am gonna take this plane down with my 12-pack! If you don't do what I tell you, I will throw this at you...really really really hard! So after putting my clothes back on I found my gate, which was a womping 3 steps away, and sat waiting for my plane to leave.

So I boarded my flight to Minneapolis, it as a nice short 45 minute flight, I had a little old lady sitting one seat away from me. I had plenty of room, so I thought man if this is an indication of what's to come I have it made...um yeah about that. Let's just say that is gets way more interesting. We landed and it was then that I realized that I had, oh about 5 and a half hours to kill in Minneapolis, what the hell was I thinking, when I picked this flight? So cut to one hour later while I am still wandering around the airport, when I hear the sound of angels and a bright light from above shines down upon my beckoning...there it is right in front of me, my safehold, the one place I know inside and out....a Chilis. Yes, I did, I stopped for lunch, oh it made my day, because leaving Omaha I was worried that I would not be eating at Chilis for quite sometime. But all the uneasy emotions that ran through my head that short flight were appeased by my philly 86 shrooms, and bells, sub cup1 of encha. Home sweet home! After lunch I headed to my gate to sit and read for about three hours.

Cut to boarding, I found my seat and sat, I was next to the window so I couldn't complain, the seat next to me was taken by a older lady that was going to Ireland for two weeks. The only way I knew this was because I read through her pamphlet she had been studying, God forbid I talk to her. I decided that I really like traveling by myself, I don't have to listen to anyone cry about God only knows and I can do whatever I want, except leave my bags unattended in an airport. Imagine one fat kid, a backpack and a heavy carry-on, full of mountain dew...in a bathroom stall...not a happy camper.

So I start looking at the map and think, wow this will be cool I have never flown over an ocean before...yeah about that. Apparently the airlines don't fly straight over the ocean, something to do with, well there might be an emergency landing. So at that point I actually thought about removing my dangerous Mountain Dew from the carry-on and putting the pedal to the metal and seeing what that 737 could really do. Snap back to reality, they would just laugh at me and my 12-pack. Okay so cut to two passes of the beverage cart, and a pretty decent meal when I think man I have been here forever, I should get up and move about (mom warned about those damn blood clots) I asked the stewardess about how long we had been in the air and she responded with, "oh about two hours and ten minutes" at that point I honestly thought I was going to pull the hatch on the door and jump out. But I figured what the hell, I can do this so I went back to my seat and fell asleep, for what I hoped would be the last remaining six or so hours.

Two hours later I woke up over Greenland...back to sleep...two hours later I woke up over Ireland...back to sleep....then I wok up to the scary little lady next to me hovering over me like Gollum over Frodo, asking if I wanted my fruit cup....my precious....okay scary. After recovering from my Lord of the Rings incident I woke up to find we would be in Amsterdam in about an hour. So I watched the little plane on the screen fly across the North Sea for the next 45 minutes before I had to get up and walk around, it was enough to drive a person crazy! So I land and meander off the plane, thinking I have about an hour or so to make it to my connection...um yeah Amsterdam airport is huge, and well it took me about 45 minutes to make it to my gate. So I get there and realize that they are making people check their bags if they are too big. Having mountain Dew and all I needed my carry-on to stay in a pressurized compartment, so it was like Mission Impossible with my carry-on, cue music.... so needless to say I boarded a bus which was supposed to take me to my plane. And let me tell you if you are ever supposed to board a bus that will take you to your plane...you are in trouble.

My plane, was called a city hopper, why...well because it did just that from Amsterdam to London, Brussels, Dublin, and the like. Did I happen to mention that it had two props and a staff of one. Yeah the flight attendant kept running to the cockpit, changing her hat into her pilot's hat, apparently when the auto pilot beeps three times it is a bad sign. Did you know there are no fat people in Europe, well okay I lied I did see one at the airport, but I think he was a king or something because they were carrying him around on this bangquette (sp?) thing. So trust me when I say that the people of the flight and I were eyeing each other suspiciously. I was thinking how many of them I would have to throw out if we were a little heavy and they were thinking how may of them it would take to throw the fat American kid out. Trust me I was not worried, I could have taken all twelve of them. So I moved the chicken crate off of my fold down seat, and settled in. It did seem as the legs of my trip progressed the seats did seem to get smaller...Europe and fat people.

Here is where it gets good, and trust me I know many of you were wondering when it would... so I board the last leg of my flight, and I get all settled, when someone starts yelling in the back of the plane. I am thinking that he is just mad at his wife/child/business partner and ignore him. Next thing I know the man is screaming and doing this middle eastern battle cry...so I get interested. I look in the back and realize that there are three armed security agents escorting a handcuffed criminal. So then everyone is pissed and wants to know why they were not informed and blah blah blah. I just want my picture taken with criminal guy and the agents. I am laughing, and enjoying my time, thinking that if I am gonna die, I am gonna die might as well live it up. The criminal guy still yelling in the back, all of a sudden he is muffled, I think the agents slammed his face into the seat in front of them...The guy next to me looks at me and the only English he knows which I assume is from movies is, "he be drink too muck" so I nod and pretend like I know what the hell he is talking about and say, "yeah I am sure" so then I go back to laughing and listening to the agents slap him around.

So that was the first 15 hours of my trip I hope you enjoyed it. There is way more to come!

Did you know there are no fat people in Europe?

2005-03-14T12:12:00.000-06:00

So to continue, my plane rides here were, to say the least interesting. Between the Ireland lady, the Middle Eastern criminal (I do want to let everyone know that he was mid-eastern, from uhh...like the United Arab Emirates or something like that) Anyway so I get off at Brussels and I was so excited until I realized that nothing was in English...so I looked at the pictures...let me take a minute to thank my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Rogers, for ensuring that I knew what a door, and a piece of luggage looked liked. Because honestly if I had not known I might still be in the airport. Apparently some people didn't learn that in kindergarten, sucks to be them. By the way they were all the people that were stuck at the "securityé" desk...

So I wander my way out of the Terminal, right past the customs people, thinking, "do I have to stop?" Well I didn't they just sort of eyed me thinking to themselves, "must be an American" Trust me I stick out like a sore thumb here, but it is fun because I have decided that European people cannot stare and hide it. Not like Americans where they are all slick about it, nope they just stare and then when you look back they turn away. So I get out there, and where is Dan? beats me the damn kid isn't there, so me being the resourceful person I am head to the train station, thinking either his train is late or he got stuck in Liege. So I got all puffy and big, and was like, "shit I can make it to Liege if I have to"...yeah so the train lady, didn't speak a lick of English...so after I got done cowering in the corner, I went back to the terminal to look for some internet access, thinking maybe he had e-mailed me. So as I sit down to hook up, I see a tall bald kid looking around with this look of fear on his face...Pansy! So I walk towards him and we meet eyes and it was like The Sound of Music all over again, except in the Brussels airport and the clothes and there was no singing, or crying or....okay so it was nothing like The Sound of Music, but hey this is my blog right?!

So we get to the train and get on it towards Liege, and let me tell you if you have never been out of country...go to Iowa it looks the same! No shit! So we arrive here and Dan takes me to where I have to get my bus pass. So we get my pass and wait for a bit, he is explaining what I need to do if I get lost or go out on my own. The bus arrives, we board, and I being the pompous American, and really have no public transportation experience other than Chicago, was caught off guard, and well I gave those people a good laugh for the day. The bus took off, and I was thrown backwards into this little lady, who instinctively curled into a ball and the bus changed gears pushing me back towards my original spot, but already being off balance I swerved into this other lady who was bent over putting something in her bag, I instinctively grabbed for the pole, but missed and accidentally grabber her head. The bus coming to another slower paced threw me backwards again, which flung me again but being a little nimbler than before I stopped myself by grabbing a bar overhead. Just when I thought it was safe, the asshole of a bus driver changed gears throwing me into Dan, who then turned around as to say, "are you okay?" Yeah apparently he had not seen anything because some little lady wanted to sit down in the seat he was standing by and he was trying to move out of the way....so he missed the pinball version of moi! Again been in country for a little over an hour and the people of Liege think I am a hilarious moron! Thanks!

Do you wanna know why there are no fat people?

2005-03-14T12:00:00.000-06:00

okay so where did I leave off...oh right the, its what the locals are calling the, "bus incident". So we get back to Dan's place, well I guess I wouldn't call it a place, so much as I would a......hmmm.....oh right a closet! Just kidding, sort of, it is basically a dorm room. Not that I am complaining....okay you are right I am bitching just a little, but it is cool I am in Belgium. So I told Dan that I want to shower and grab a bite then we can go out and explore. He does preface the shower idea with, you know its small.

Apparently, my idea of small, vs. Dan's idea of small are different, of course he is a skinny euro-chic "manly man" now. So I get to the shower facilities, this would be the time when I would spice up the story and tell you that the shower is outside or someplace cool but its not, the shower is down the hall. Think dorms....so I enter the little room thinking oh this is not too bad, then the fear of God is put into me, and that screeching sound from Psycho enters my head....ehhhh....ehhhh....ehhhh.....um yeah the little 3ft x 4ft space that I entered, it was the "holding area. The showers...let's just say that we are lucky my chest doesn't get caught on the shower head when I turn around.

So shower complete, I get ready and we are off on my first tour of the city. I just want to preface the next few days' entries with, I play the dumb American quite well...so Dan and I jump the bus and take it to the heart of Liege. Me asking questions, again unslick European people staring. For being the biggest tourist city in French speaking Belgium, they really do not accommodate to any other language. So we get off at the tourist center, and Dan runs to get me a map, and there it is my beckon of Liege, my first architectural wonder up close. I told Dan that I wanted to go in, he responded with, "um okay I think you have to be important to get in there, they have security, I tried once before." So we walked into the building, and into the courtyard, and let me tell you if you have not seen XXX with Vin Diesel, I kid you not this place looked just like the bad guys palace. So we walked through security, and nothing was said, and trust me the one thing my mom said before leaving..."Don't get arrested!" Now I want you to remember those words they will come back to haunt me. So we walk through security, which by the way was a shack with some ugly chick doing the security, and there in the corner of the yard is this door, that people are going in and out. I tell Dan that we should go in and we do, where Dan proceeds to tell the nice gentleman at the desk that I am his American friend, which in English translate to, "look at this stupid person from America" and I would like to see the courtyard. So he lets us pass, but tells us that we can only look through the windows...so we go to the windows and sneak upstairs, look through some file cabinets, and jimmy our way into this judge's office....okay so we didn't go through the filing cabinets, but let me tell you that floor had not seen a fat person in hundreds of years, the way it squeaked and moaned, damn I really thought I was going through the floor. So we left the "court house" is what we determined it was, only after taking some provocative pictures on the three Mazarattis out front.

We are off again, I tell Dan that I would like to see an old Church and the rest I was fair game for. He proceeds to tell me of this WWII monument, so I agree and we are off. Now if you are fat and hang with skinny people you know where I am coming from, if you are skinny, you are as clueless as Alicia Silverstone (aka Condoleeza Rice...hey I had to get some political banter in here!) Apparently when Dan was telling me about the monument he forgot to tell me about the 350 stairs leading to it, now doing some rough calculations in my head that comes up to 35 flights of stairs, roughly about 17 floors....okay one I don't walk 17 floors worth of stairs in a week let alone one day, and two I love the WWII vets and all of the sacrifices that they made, but for crap sakes, are you kidding me?!...but then something (okay someone) caught my eye, and we were off! About 30 minutes later and a heartrate of 185 we were there, beautiful view and all. I do have to mention that as we were walking to the monument we came across a street with a bus stop just behind the statue...Thanks Dan!

So we caught the view of Liege, it was definitely worth the heavy breathing and aching quads. We started heading back down and about halfway into it, I start feeling a little uneasy, my legs were a little shaky..."Dan if I go down..." "Don't worry Terri I will catch you." "Um no, I was gonna say if I go down I will meet you at the bottom." "The benches will stop you from going too far" Like I said before Dan is a skinny euro-chic guy now, so at this point I am thinking that if I lose my step and fall that I am tucking and rolling, because hell, lets face it we all know that I do not want to go down the remaining 17 flights, and the rolling will be a lot less painful for everyone involved.

The rest of the day we walked around Liege and grabbed a bite to eat at this Chinese restaurant. Dan explained some of the idiosyncrasies(sp?) of the Belgium people and other than that we just hung out. Went back to his "place" and crashed. I was so tired at one point Dan had been talking to me on the bus and I had actually fallen asleep. 36 hours awake and traveling, makes a girl tired. So there you have it, day one of my trip out of the country. Enjoy and come back soon.

Day 2: Lost in Liege

2005-03-14T11:30:00.000-06:00

Dan and I had made plans to meet in Liege and travel to Brussels after his class. He woke up early to go to school...okay well not exactly early if you know my buddy Dan you know that he does not wake up any earlier than he has to, and for those of you who don't...cut to 9:35 and Dan has to be in class at 10:00. So he leaves me a map...of Liege...on a chair...with a note....in french...thanks Dan! So I woke up early...and fell back asleep, I mean hell I had been up for 36 hours the day(s) before. I dressed quickly and got to the bus station, only to be stared at by the 5 year old...I love being an American! I jumped the bus and rode to an exit I was familiar with, I headed toward, what I thought was the supposed meeting place. Note to self, if you are going to leave a note, on a map, for a friend (you really do like) use a Post-It. I happened to get lost and find my way back to the main drag of Liege, only to try to find someone to ask where to go. I went to a little mart off a side street, totally reminded me of Diagon Alley, and in my broken horrible accent I asked the man if he spoke any English, he sort of grunted and pointed to a woman in the corner. And let me tell you, between her skill at sharades(sp?) and my guessing ability, I understood that I needed to take a right out of the store, follow the street to the chicken vendor, and take another right at the donkey house. Well I don't know if it was her sharades or my guesses, but there is no donkey house or chicken vendor...(according to Dan: except on Sundays) but I did find my way to the square, or the Carré. Which led me to the university...where I got lost....again! So I wandered around looking for a place on the map, that I didn't know existed, because they don't use Post-Its in Belgium.

An hour later I decided that Dan had been back to the apparently and was waiting for me, or at the train station. So I jumped on the bus and took it to the train station, only to find....no Dan. Off to the apartment it was...the bus was swamped, and I could barely fit, so I squeezed on. There was a man on the bus, and Dan had told me about the Police that check your passes, I had forgotten mine, and being the pompous American ass I didn't want to pay for another one. So I eyed that man like a hawk deciding that when he moved I was jumping train (bus). Well about three stops before mine, the man moved...I jumped out of my seat to get off at the next stop, and as I had already pushed the stop button, I turned to see him scratching his leg...false alarm. Well I had pushed the button, so I was gonna have to get off. My stop just happened to be in the middle of nowhere, on a mountain, about 2:30 in the afternoon. I walked to the next stop, thinking I could catch the next bus coming by...about 10 minutes later it appeared on the horizon like my saving grace. As the doors opened what do I see to my surprise...and his...was Dan! He said, "Hello", I responded, with a, "hi" and we were off to the house...he looked at me and said, "I have one question for you...how did you wind up here, in the middle of nowhere...?" "Dan it is a long story and someday I will tell you." (when he reads my blog) so we laughed about it for about an hour and then off to Brussels, but that will have to wait for another time. Hope you are enjoying my world!

Belgium, its only two hours across the entire country!

2005-03-14T11:10:00.000-06:00

Where were we, oh yes, Day two...and this one is a hoot let me tell you. Dan and I jump a train to Brussels, but only after I have acted like a Neaderthal and grunted at the...get this...sandwichiere shop lady, for a damn club sandwich. Apparently it was at this point in my trip where I decided that I would let Dan order for me and I would just hand over the cash. Eating my sandwich, being stared at, and walking all at the same time is difficult for a kid who can't talk on the phone and watch TV...trust me its one or the other...so if I am talking to you, you better listen for the TV, because if it is on there is only one thing I am paying attention to....

So off to Brussels we are, on the train enjoying my second, rather short train ride in Belgium, thinking man these train systems are good! (Get a sense of foreboding?) Anyway we are off at Brussels, the central station wander around, we were both hungry so after doing a little sight-seeing we stop at this pita shop, and an ice cream place, and a frites place...I said we were hungry! By the way I wanna give a shout out to the owners of PITA PITA, you make one hell of a Pita Formage! Here are a few places that I would totally recommend seeing in Brussels...The Grand Place, the King's Palace, the Old English house, and the L'Homo Erectus...yeah I said it...L'Homo Erectus This was one of the many gay bars that call Brussels their home, however...apparently "lesbians don't exist" in Brussels. Dan and I laughed, the guy wanted us to come into a strip show, I think he just wanted Dan to show off his Euro chic body! We settled for a nice Irish pub. On our way home, Dan bought a scarf. We made it to the train station at like 9:30 only to find our train leaving late to Liege, we decided to head home. Now let me preface this by saying that Belgium is only 250 miles long, about two hours across the entire country. Liege to Brussels is about a 45 minute drive. It took us from Brussels to Liege about 2hours and 30 minutes...why you may ask, well apparently our train decided that I should see the whole of Belgium...it looks like Iowa. I have seen it trust me.

Back in Liege, the buses were done running for the night, and to be nice, Dan hailed a cab, so I wouldn't have to hoof it up a mountain in my heels...wait who am I kidding...I don't wear heels! So remember that bus stop that Dan found me at earlier in the day...we stopped there, because the cabbie was costing us an arm and a leg. So as we stop, the door opens and some random dude, jumps in the car, and asks if he could be taken somewhere. Dan looked back at me as if to say, "Terri did you make a friend?" and I looked back thinking, "Man I have so seen this on Worst Case Scenarios...all I have to do is punch him in the nose...wait that was if a shark attacks...Damn it what do I do in Belgium if a random guy gets into my cab, oh yeah I forgot...I am twice his size I could totally kick his ass!" Well that was day two, again I hope it is staying interesting, at least I am having fun, so the rest of you can just get bent!

Ahh...Flemish is that the same as Finnish?

2005-03-14T10:44:00.000-06:00

Today we were supposed to....keyword-supposed to....get up early and make our way to Amsterdam. Day three of my trip, I have seen all of Belgium, Liege included. Dan learned from a "source" that it would be cheaper to travel to the coast, and then to Amsterdam, since it is closer...well source, here is my two fingered salute! We woke up late, and got going, we were headed to Oostand which is right on the North Sea, by the way, the North Sea and the Atlantic Ocean are different...Christine you can have the Atlantic, I have the North Sea...*wink wink*

So we arrived in Oostand, and if you ever want to see the fear of God in someone's face, take them to a place where they speak Flemish. You can catch some of the words, but then the language takes a whole other direction...welcome to Holland! We walked around Oostand, reminded me of a smaller version of Seattle. Bought a poule(pronounced poo-hul...think french!) It was a bit cooler on the coast, had some frites and jumped train to Amsterdam, where in about 4 hours we would be in Amsterdam...Hey source, thanks for the outstanding idea! From Liege it would have only taken about 2 hours 30 minutes instead of six. These trains not looking like such a good idea still...

First stop, Antwerp...nothing interesting, lots of jewelry stores, thought that was weird! *wink wink* So we get off the train, it had been a few minutes late, and Dan with the long legs he has, starts walking...fast. I am trying to keep up, but I am trying to fit in and the Europeans don't run, its kind of like the British and not brushing their teeth, its a cultural thing! So Dan is about 30 yards in front of me (for those of you not in the states about 45 meters) and he has looked at the departure board, and is heading towards our train. The whistle blows, for those of you that have never ridden a train (Hogwarts Express excluded, because those train conductors are way nicer...trust me we looked at taking the Hogwarts Express but it would have cost like 8 galleons, 5 sickles and 1 knut) anyway as Dan is sprinting for the train I maintain that the train will not leave without me, I am Terri. I have one thing to say... If it weren't for Dan throwing his body in front of the closing doors so I could catch up we would have never made it to Amsterdam. I own Dan a beer...and a bunch of ice! Well let's say that we made it to Amsterdam about 8:00 pm but the rest of the night will have to wait until later...I need to get ready for my next Belgian experience....I don't know how much more I can take....

Have you ever wondered what was illegal in Amsterdam...I found it!

2005-03-14T10:30:00.000-06:00

Dan and I arrived in Amsterdam about 8:00 pm, but only after watching a guy get ticketed and almost arrested! We felt responsible, because we both decided to use the "facilities" on the train before we stopped in Amsterdam. The guy had been hiding in the train bathroom, and as we were waiting for him to get out, the conductor came by to check tickets and forced the man out. They "argued" about the train ticket and where it "might be". Then the man got ticketed! Moron, apparently the dumbass could maintain a proper ticket! Anyway we jumped train and headed toward the city.

We had made a list on the train of what we wanted to make sure that we did, which included, but was not limited to the red-light district, a bicycle ride with a baguette, and a royale with cheese (by the way that's a quarter pounder). We grabbed a bite at Sbarro right out of the train station and headed toward the district, so many lights, and bars and naked women! We figured that about 90% of the "tourists" were men, the rest were with their "boyfriends" or "husbands". The only single women that we saw were working...in the bars...in the cafes and in the "windows". So while we took it all in and decided where to go first........................................... then Dan said, "....................................................", but then ........................................................., and I was so mad that I ............................. You would not have believed what happened next,....... then,................................................................... At that point we decided to just wait for the next train. About two hours later we were cold, wet, and tired, and the train finally showed.

Instead of riding all the way to the coast we rode the train to Antwerp, where we were gonna use the "Go Pass" which allows us to travel through Belgium using that pass. So we hit Antwerp and off to Brussels, we both passed out as soon as we hit the seats, Dan being able to speak french had to pay more attention than I, so when the conductor came by to check the tickets, I passed back out. Next thing I know the lady wanted my passport, so I hand it over, she returns it attached to a ticket. Yeah that's right I am now wanted by the Belgium government...so any of you that might want to aid in the "T does Europe" fund, in order to pay off the government of this shitty, ....I mean fine country please leave a comment! Apparently, coming from the United States I thought that drugs, prostitution, and public drunkenness was illegal, um yeah I guess it is when you accidentally mis-write your ticket. So to the wonderful conductor, of train 726 from Amsterdam to Brussels...here is my two fingered salute!

We arrived in Liege about 11:00 am and went to Dan's place where we passed out (after showering of course!...well at least I did!) I woke up about 5:30 or so and headed to town for some dinner, by myself. I hit two places, one where they spoke a little french and the other they spoke no french what-so-ever...let's just say that I didn't exactly get what I ordered! Dan and I hung out eating pitas, frites, and a few waffles, while we watched some Will and Grace....I mean Sex and the City.....um I mean we just watched some TV and recovered from Amsterdam. Kind of a boring night, but hell we needed a little TLC.

Hiding out like Anne Frank

2005-03-14T10:20:00.000-06:00

C'mon people we all know that I am not a PC type of person, and if you didn't know that well let's just say that I can be pretty offensive, but hell I figure that people need to toughen up, none of this pussy...footing around things anymore. So read my title and learn to love it! So Monday, after Dan and I's escapades we hung out and had dinner, crashed out and woke up the next day. We decided to do laundry, it couldn't be that tough right?! Well thank God we were right about one thing, did our laundry, went to the store and Dan made me dinner...how romantic! BLAH! Whatever, Dan I love you and because I know you read this I will say, the man cannot cook, but what can you expect from a "jeuof". Love you just kidding! If that is too offensive I will remove it. No no the food was good, as well as the wine. I did not find a bottle that I did not like...and that's saying a lot since the counter looked like Kendall Jackson's distillery!

So another non interesting day, but we did finally laugh about the Amsterdam incident! Which is a good thing!

A free meal was not worth it!

2005-03-14T09:55:00.000-06:00

So day 6, Dan and I had had enough of sitting at home and hiding from the Nazi Belgian Government, we decided to open our minds and spread our wings and take another trip to enhance my trip to Belgium. After lots of consideration and discussion...I told Dan that we were going to Brussels...again. Hey cut me some slack, I had just recovered from the most traumatic experience of my life, being stuck in a foreign country with way of communication, no means of transportation, or lodging, and the most important amenity possible...food! Okay so I lied, if you know me, which I assume all of you do since you are reading the most important thoughts that go through my head (well again that is a lie because if these are the most important thoughts then may God help us!) in this blog then you would know that being someplace where I have no money or means to communicate with people really doesn't bother me...I work at Chilis! So back to my train of thought!

Dan was to go to class then we would meet at the square, since I actually knew where I needed to be this time...Post-it...that is all I am gonna say. So he headed off to class, to what he explained was a filed trip to the aquarium. Ok yeah, I don't know about you but I stopped taking field trips back in 3rd grade, so this was only what I thought it was, an excuse to get away from me! But then I remembered the only person that loves me more than I do is Dan...so he must have really been at the "cuirs" aquarium. (That one was for you!) Anyway so I get to the square, only 10 minutes late this time, and I am watching the people walking and talking and running naked across the flower bead, when all of a sudden I hear, "Terri! Terri! hey!" and I turn around to see Dan running at me naked....ooh scary thought, okay thank the lord that he wasn't naked because I would have to bludgeon myself with this keyboard. He came up and told me that his classmates wanted to meet me, and we could do Brussels later. I agreed, because once again would I really pass up the opportunity to eat frites? Yeah no! So he took me to this lady's car that was waiting for us, and he explained that it was a lady from his class, who offered to come pick us up. You better grab a chair and relax because this is where it gets good.

So we jump in the Mitsubishi Montero, which is rare in Europe, being that it is a full size American SUV, and streets in Europe are not equipped to take this type of car...let me make a comparison, it would be like...me trying to live in a doll house. Those type of structures just don't handle the wide loads you know! So here she is jerking us around these small streets barely stopping for the Police van she almost while traveling down the wrong way on a one way street. Um yeah, at this point my survival instincts take over and I am ready to put a sleeper hold on the chick and grab the wheel. So she takes us to this parking garage, where there is barely enough room for me to walk into the garage without ducking, let alone this monstrosity of a car. But we fit, and she is killing the damn thing every two seconds, and then telling Dan how she, "loves everything American. Oh and her ex-husband lives there. Blah Blah Blah" by the way did I mention this lady does not speak a word of English! So here is Dan, and the two people in the car that speak french, "gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble" and here is me, "um cathedral, holy crap its a building...thank god she missed that one, crap the lady, watch out for the statue..." Let's cut to getting the car parked. We not only had to get out of the car before she parked because we could not open the doors once she did. Cut to 10 minutes later after she has backed up and parked six times already, cmon lady, if you love everything American, you should be pompous enough to just pull in a spot and leave it whether you are blocking three people in or not!

So we get to the frites place, and order up a couple plates. Dan had told me that everyone wanted to meet me and that there were a few that spoke really good english. Okay well my definition of good english, is a conversation that does not include NBA, Hanson, J-Lo, Lord of the Rings and the word "cuirs" um yeah, lets just say that when Europeans say that they can speak well, their conversations are limited to the above. Dan I love you, but next time....you will die!

We are done with our frites and people have left (only three people spoke to me, and this is including Dan) so we walk outside and the nice lady, who drives like a maniac is inviting us to dinner. Dan asks if I would want to go, since we were planning on going to Brussels, I like the idea of a home cooked meal, plus she said that her daughter could speak English...really well.(This was my own fault seeing that I hadn't learned my lesson as of yet. So we agreed to meet at 7:00 for dinner.

7:00 rolls around, Dan and I are waiting...have I told you that Europeans are really laid back, and 7:00 means 7:25? Well let me preface this by saying, I really did have a good time, despite the experience, and the night seemed to go on forever! So we get to her house, which is above a store that they own and run, and they are remodeling. Which I dug! The house was beautiful, very clean lines, streamlined, she introduced us to her husband and her daughter, who said," hello, do you like the NBA?" I almost grabbed the bottle of cognac and beat myself senseless. But it was a free meal right?...................................................................................................................... three hours later, after a very Polish dinner and lots of conversation, which I understood approximately three words; e-mail, pingpong, and American. Dan and I were sitting on the couch, drinking coffee and beer watching home movies of their vacations...um yeah about that! I don't want to see my home movies let alone someone else's...in a foreign language!

After some time we get ready to go, and she being the good host, wants to show me some of Liege. But at that point I wanted to go home...she tried to take us over the bridge, but it was closed, instead she took us to her old neighborhood, a good pizza place, and a bowling alley. Which she wanted to know if we had them in the states and what they looked like..."um they look like this, except the signs are of Budweiser and are in English..." I felt bad, so we sat and had a drink. Then she took us home. Thank God!

I do want to say that her hospitality was wonderful, and it was extremely nice of her to invite me into her home for a good meal. But word to all of you world travelers...if you can't speak it, don't think you will be able to stand it!

Shout out to Pita Pita!

2005-03-14T09:40:00.000-06:00

The next, trying to make up the night before to me, Dan said that we could go to Brussels, so I was excited, I really like Brussels. It was the coolest place we had been...well okay it was the coolest place we had been while not being wanted by the Belgian government! We spent the day in Brussels, we walked all over the city, the major touristy parts and the not so touristy back alleyways. I have pictures up the ying-yang. So we spent the day walking and hanging out...and eating at Pita Pita twice... It was a very relaxed day.

On the way to Brussels we heard some people speaking English, so on our way off the train we talked to them....yeah they were twelve...and Canadian.

Anyway nothing really special happened that day. Had some good pitas and pics!

Those were bouncers?

2005-03-14T09:38:00.000-06:00

Well my last day there was St. Patty's day. We decided to hit up the local Irish pub, and when I say the local Irish pub, I mean the place where all the Irish people go, because they didn't want to make the 45 minute trip home. Yeah I was that close...so we had some beers and heard some Irish jigs. As we were walking out, these large black men held the door open for me, so as I walked out I turned to hold the door for them thinking it was the polite thing to do. Um they just looked at me, Dan had went back inside to, "say goodbye" what the hell is that some European thing, "say goodbye"! Ha, this is me scoffing! Anyway so as these tall men are just staring at me I get uncomfortable and walk away. Let me explain what these guys looked like. Again I am not the most PC person, so basically they looked like two tall starving Ethiopians. Yes tall and skinny. Now when Dan explained that they were the bouncers, all sorts of questions ran through my head, "if you owned an Irish bar, wouldn't you want someone who was your bouncer to look like they could hold down a 98 year old Irish woman, instead of looking like they would want to borrow her purse? Or maybe someone who could stand at the door on a windy night without mysteriously disappearing? How about a bouncer that didn't have to duck to come into the bar?" I think bouncer I think short stocky wrestling looking mo-fo. You know?! I mean I am a bouncer, I could have kick the crap out of those two had I been blind, bound, gagged and naked! So yeah the thought crossed my mind that I should beat the bouncers up just to say that I had, but then I thought...You are wanted by the Belgian Government...be good!